I wake up from my med induce sleep, still feeling like crap from the germs I caught. I walk downstairs to my Xmas music playing on the TV, looked around and just felt complete sadness. Stared out the window to see the empty streets, feeling just like the streets look…empty!!! This has been another tough year, and today Christmas Eve just feels like another day. I didn’t host a party this year, because all my friends actually have family they love to be around and who love them. That right there just makes me a little jealous, now I don’t use that word often because that’s a word or feeling I never experience. But today I actually feel jealous, we have this big house and no family. My husbands family lives in Texas and they visited earlier this year, his real mom hates my guts(feeling is mutual) but I think I could have put that aside just to have some good Xmas fun. So I will get up and go over to dads, deliver gifts to my mom and then head home to cook. I’m going to pull myself together for my hubby and son, I will cook, drink and be Merry even if it kills me!!!! So Merry Christmas Eve to all of you!!! Chat soon….