Friends, Music & Depression

Typing as I sit in the staircase of my house, because it’s stormy outside and I’m totally terrified of storms. Just made it home in time before I was caught  in all that rain, my anxiety level on midway but driving and doing fine. See my bestie (family) invited me to dinner tonight and after a long day at work, I wasn’t feeling it. Being very persistent like he usually is, I ended up going. He cooked grilled pork chops, broccoli salad, and potatoes. Yummy, because my stomach was on ‘E’ (empty) and I wasn’t cooking anything. So I fussed, cussed and proclaimed I wasn’t going. Of course I did and when I tell you it was absolutely wonderful, I wouldn’t have left but the bad weather was coming.  Since I’m so anxious about the dark, rain, driving, and life I had to leave.  As I pulled out the yard I started to cry, then I put on the music. Music blaring threw my speakers loud, one of my favorite hip-hop songs! Moolah: By: Young Greatness, not for everyone but when I’m in my music mood this shit hits the spot. Yes, sometimes as classy and fabulous as I be, that rap music sits in my soul. Rap music you ask??? Hmm, because I can relate sometimes it takes me back to my bad girl (stripper) days. Lol I bet you will read my next book. Any who, he showed some new Missy Elliot video and it had me straight crunk (as the kids would say). I found myself wanting to dance and twirl like I use too. Music is my life and I just let it go, not playing it, hearing it, or dancing to it. Depression didn’t take that away, it just brought in the sad music that made me cry, feel lonely, and sad. Tonight I danced, tonight I swayed, tonight I enjoyed music like I use too. Thanks to my best friend, my family,my Clyde! He has seen me at my very lowest taking pills out my hand, I couldn’t ask for a better friend who started off as just a simple neighbor. Tell me God doesn’t work his magic. He is in every situation good or bad and I thank Him for allowing my friend to be there, right there across the street. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran

 

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2 thoughts on “Friends, Music & Depression

  1. Love love love love……I enjoyed this reading. I felt like I was reading about myself. I also love my rap to bring out my “mental thug” lol. I myself suffer from PTSD in conjunction with Major Depression and music is my soul finder on my cloudy days. I can definitely say if it was not from music I would have jumped somebody’s cliff by now, Lol. It is so hard to make plans and keep them even though I can enjoy my loneliness. Awesome read.

    Liked by 1 person

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