For those of you who say to me, “I wish I could stay in the bed all day”! It’s not as relaxing and glamorous as it seems! I promise you that!!!
Good Tuesday morning, woke up today feeling a bit iffy. Yesterday I didn’t do anything because I felt like crap, don’t know if it’s the meds or what. I’m a little nauseous and weary. I took my meds this morning, but not before guilt, sadness, and worthlessness sneaked in. I said my prayers to shake it off, but I just can’t today maybe later. I’m super exhausted, haven’t been able to sleep since hubby has been home for sooo long. I’m so use to sleeping alone, when he comes home it creates havoc on my sleep life. Also I haven’t been taking my sleeping meds, because someone broke into my son’s car on Friday morning past. That just pisses me off, we work so hard for the shit we have and some low life bum comes and takes things. So we all have been pulling watching out the window duty to catch these little lowlife. They seem to hit early in the morning before everyone is up. God I hope the police catches them before we do, lol! Anyway, I forgot to mention I have decided to quit my job at the school. I’m not mentally stable enough to work with kids, and they deserve someone who is attentive to their little needs. So now I’m stuck looking for a job but don’t know what I want to do. I think I’m just going to start my cleaning business back up, this way I can continue to be my own boss on my own time. Hopefully the cleaning world will welcome me back, hell I’m the best cleaner in town. This now means until things pick back up for me I’m going to be short paying my share of the bills. I wonder how hubby will react to this? He seems to be ok, but I don’t trust his flip-flopping ass one bit. So now my mind is racing….trying to come up with some sort of hustle to actually look like I’m doing something. I feel bad because once again this year he has to pull my weight, I’m now in rage. I start thinking why my dad had to have that damn stroke? Why didn’t I do what I needed to do with the money I had? I hate rethinking old stuff, but it is all coming up all at one damn time. I’m going to continue on my path of believing things will work out, not going to put myself down to bad. Better days are coming…..chat soon!!!!