Trying to Keep My Shit Together while Depressed!

So I have been sitting around the house trying to find things to do and to my surprise I found myself back in bed today. Told myself I would cook something fun, clean out a closet, and then finish working on my many projects. Well that didn’t go to well today, and I’m a little disappointed. I really think it’s the meds that I’m on, the pain med is taken in the morning after breakfast for my body aches. My body feels better, but then I’m super drowsy during the day. It’s about 4 in the afternoon my time, I have already walk the dog, ran an errand, and now I’m showered ready for bed. Seriously bed at this time of the day.????? I made it back to my office to try to surf the web for a bit, because I’m literally trying my best to stay up. Kind of glad that I have houses lined up all this week, so this will get me out the house for a bit. Also it will help with my self-esteem, since I’m feeling a bit worthless right now. How can you can keep your shit together, with so much going on in my brain. I mean up there I’m super productive, but in reality my body is resisting. I so wish there was some miracle drug that could change me!!!! Maybe some of you can relate to how I feel, hoping this illness is like a cold that we know will be over in a week or so. Ha! I’m at an age that I should be well establish by now, with my life completely in order. Instead I watch and drool at my FB feed, of others having the best lives ever. That should be me I keep thinking, but this disease has crippled me. Hubby has decided to go local and that just urks my nerve, I’m not in the mood to be a wife, I need some space right now. He keeps telling me, “I need to find my purpose, ordo what  motivates me”! For some reason he actually thinks I like being in this tunnel I call my life. He still doesn’t understand, and that makes me crazy. I have to now look productive because he is always around. Oh well I did manage to cook a good meal, 6 Cheese Penne Pasta, my sons favorite.(pics to come) He just loves loves that dish, so that made me happy. So off I go to find something to read to make the time go by….chat soon!

Ms. Fran

Advertisements