I Guess I’m a Little Nuts 😉

As if I didn’t need to be reminded that I’m nuts, I had another assessment appointment today. After waiting for 20 minutes because she forgot about me, we then proceeded down this long freezing hallway to her office. She was really nice and seemed very interested in helping me. So we went over a few things about my different triggers and what I could get out of therapy. As she was looking over my file, apparently I have a long one. She looked at me with a little smile and said, “you’ve been in the system a long time missy.” Been in the system??? Yes, I have had my share of hospital stays, and group sessions as child all the way up until I was a teenager. I was really baffled because I didn’t remember any of this, and my family never discussed it. I mean how can you hide that from a child? I started feeling really sad, because I should have gotten the help I needed so long ago. My mom never even mentioned to me, apparently my sister did some time in the hospital as well. Oh and found out that an aunt of mines committed suicide when I was a little girl. *blank stare* My whole family is a little NUTS!!! Can you believe we never discussed this shit in our family??? I mean I could have been damn near cured by now, but noooo we had to keep all this shit a secret. This is so crazy to me, what’s the big deal? Why can’t we discuss this? I mean I was raped for heaven sakes, and nobody wanted to get me help. Funny how my family look at me like I’m crazy or faking it, but they knew the whole damn time that I was going a little insane. My mom knew I had a damn problem, and she failed to help me. What’s the big deal? Why can’t we talk about our problems. It should have never come to this, I’m really bothered by this. What a way to find out I’ve been nuts for a really long time, now that explains a lot. Oh well I hope these therapy sessions help, she said they will be very intense and was I up for the challenge? Hell yeah!!! I can’t spend the rest of my life-like this….Chat soon!!