Woke up again from a super crazy 2 hour sleep, went to walk the dog and to my surprise everyone was there. Usually I’m the only one on my late days, but this morning eyes looking puffy from crying, I had to say those 2 words. The 2 words we use when we are totally lying by about how we feel. “I’m ok” I know they saw the sadness in my eyes, and I was only minutes away from a complete meltdown. I wanted to be left alone today, not have to talk to anyone. I just don’t want to keep repeating this lie. No, today I’m not ok, but I don’t have any energy to explain why. Besides I think everyone has heard this story before, so this time I’m just going to stay to myself. I hate having these fucking episodes, it takes so much out of me, and keeps me from doing anything. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my hair is a mess. I’m a freaking MESS! I haven’t seen my therapist in two weeks, she called today and I lied. I just wanted to scream at her, and ask “WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN LADY, I NEEDED YOU!!!😠Of course she was on vacation and that mad me even more upset, you leave and get sun, while I’m home going freaking nuts. Oh well off to my dads, kind of glad he can’t really see to good. I mean not like that, lol! I just don’t have the patience to explain anything, and I absolutely don’t won’t to ruin his day. Chat soon….