Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Because Mines Actually Did!!!!

Well just like I was hoping, getting out the house today was absolutely wonderful. I worked really hard today and even manage to do a lot of laughing. My clients are the best, they always make me feel so loved. They don’t treat me like the maid, but more like a really close family member who cleans, lol! I’m totally ok with that, because when I’m going through my episodes my clients really help me. For some reason they can see this vibrant, beautiful, funny, and smart me. How can that be? I don’t feel any of those things on most days, but just glad they see it. That kind of motivated me today, my client ask “when is the new book coming out”, and all I could do was lower my head. So she ask, “what’s wrong”?  Of course I went into my usual story of not having any motivation, and how I just felt like giving up. Now, she wasn’t happy about my decision at all. She sat me down and proceeded to tell me about how long she new me and all the things I went through in the past. I haven’t really thought about how far I have come, depression seems to cloud my mind a lot. I mean she has seen me at my worst years before, and I got right back up on my feet. She saw me lose it all, build a home, take care of my dad, and graduate from college. Yes, I did all those things and each time something stood in my way, but I managed to swerve around it. I don’t know WHY? I feel so stuck now. Why I feel like I can’t get out of this tunnel. It just seems so hard now, feels like the weight of the world is once again back on my shoulders. I guess I’ll eventually get through this as well, just don’t know when. Well I hope you all had an awesome day filled with nothing but positivity and bliss. Chat soon…….

Ms. Fran

 

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