Why I Can’t, But I Want To!!

So it’s about 6:50 in the morning, I’ve been up since about 3! I went to bed about 7 yesterday, hell actually I’ve been in and out of bed all day. I played hookie from work, because I just couldn’t get my butt out of bed. My body was achy, I felt dizzy, and my mind seemed so cloudy. Well I managed to go over to dads and take his blood pressure, but I literally felt like I was about to pass out. I’m so damn drained, I think I may be dehydrated again. This will make almost the 5th time this year that I would need fluids. I finally made it back home, only to put back on my pjs and off to sleep I went. I got nothing done, nothing at all. After waking up near late afternoon, I decided to do a little cleaning. I pump myself up, “I’m going to finish my projects “. Well that didn’t go so well. I just sat my ass back down and sipped on a beer. Still I got nothing done. A couple hours go by and I’m back in my bed for the rest of the Friday, getting nothing done. So why can’t I? Why can’t I get my ass up, go to my office and get some shit done? In my mind I have and want to accomplish so much, but I can’t . I know I should, but I can’t. This then makes me feel guilty, worthless, and lazy. I just can’t move, I’m constantly tired. I keep putting things off. Then I sit around and wonder why everyone else is doing better off than me. Depression is ruining my life, I take steps forward, only to fall back. Well I’m going to see what today holds, I’m still laying in bed now. I really plan on getting up and make myself be productive. Hmm…we’ll see! Chat soon..

Ms. Fran


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