Happy New Year to you all, needless to my New Year isn’t getting off to a good start. As you all know if you read my blog, my son has now turned himself in to the fedreal prison camp in Texas today. My heart is aching for him, I wish I could do the time for my son. I feel so drained of emotions right now, I cried, caled out to God, and just walked around today in a daze. I’m trying not to jump back in the bed and drown in my sorrows, I knew this day was coming. So how should be feeling, everyone keeps telling me it will be ok, I just don’t want anything to happened to my son. Ten month is all he has, but that’s to long without my boy. As I sit here looking at all his pics in my room, I just can’t understand what went wrong with him. How did he not know that this was going to be a life altering event, I mean not only is he sentence we are too. I can barely sleep, don’t want to eat or function right now. Being a mother is so hard at times, I hear moms complaining about teething, potty-training, and terrible two’s, hell I would give anything to have him be a baby again. I’m so use to protecting him, but I can’t now. I may not even hear from him, until almost next month. What will he eat, how will he take his meds, where does he sleep? I have so many questions, he isn’t use to this type of life, but I’m going to be strong and try my best to move on. I just want him to know that I’m going to be there for him, fighting for him, and making sure his little boy is good. So here’s to what my New Year’s will be like, and I will not let it define me. Look forward to a great New Year regardless of these circumstances. Chat soon….
Published by blackgirldown
Welcome to BlackGirlDown! My name is Olivia Shepherd, and I am the founder of BlackGirlDown,com a blog about depression and mental illness. I started this blog in 2016 after being diagnosed with Clinical Depression and PTSD. I didn't have anybody to talk with or share my feelings with, so I decided to share my experience with you..the world!!! There is nothing like feeling alone, helpless, and unworthy in a house full of people. I still suffer and fall short more days then I like, this is why I wanted to share my journey as I go through the recovery process. With BlackGirlDown I hope to share my life experiences,,the good and the bad! I want to bring awareness to the stigma that surrounds Mental Illness in the African American community, as black women we are more likely to suffer from depression and the least to get or ask for treatment. Please follow my journey, hoping some of my words can provide a real look inside the life of a depressed black woman. Let's Chat... View all posts by blackgirldown