Tag Archive | depression

What It Feels Like to Have a ‘Depression Hangover’ | The Mighty

https://themighty.com/2017/04/depression-hangover-day-after/

Hmmm a ‘Depression Hangover’ think I like this term!!! When you feel like crap, tired, unmotivated all in one!! Pretty good read!

Ms. Fran

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I Just Don’t Know!

Well what a difference a day makes, of course you all have read me saying that before. But it’s so true, yesterday was such a great day. My friends wedding day, a chance to get all dressed up and celebrate her. That’s exactly what I did, and my crazy brain stay away. She looked absolutely gorgeous and the groom wore a kilt (he’s Scottish)! When I tell you I was so obsessed with the kilts and tried to find out what was underneath 😂😂😂😂The wedding was just amazing and I had a lovely time. Came home a tad bit early, because I’m still exhausted from the Texas trip and wanted to just get in my bed. Slept pretty well all the way through church this morning, the pup didn’t even get me up! Smh! So my son and I got up and decided we would do some baby registries! Omg what fun I had with him pointing that little gun at all the baby things. They have so many new things out, I was overwhelmed by just love!!! I can’t wait to hold that little munchkin in my arms. But then reality sinks in, and we have to prepare ourselves for the day of sentencing. Will they send my son to jail? I can see how much it’s starting to weigh on him, he’s asking questions and I can’t help him. I can’t help my son out of this, I absolutely don’t know what the hell to do. Once again I’m just stuck, and it’s sad to say that the shots of liquor are becoming more frequent. If it isn’t food, it’s the drinking. One shot turns into the bottle, then I’m feeling sick and guilty the next day. One day I’m up, the next I’m down! I’m biting my nails and lips more often, my body feels like a truck hit me. I promise I’m trying to venture into new things, but it only holds my attention for seconds!  Lord I’m just falling apart, again how much more can I take?  Everybody keeps telling me it’s going to be ok? I wish I could believe that! Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Depression Turned Me Into A Different Person, And I’m Okay With It

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/unwritten/depression-turned-me-into-a-different-person-im_b_16084002.html

Love this article, as I’m sitting in the car while my son is driving and I wonder how different am I after being diagnosed. Yes, depression turned me into a different person and unlike the lady in the article I’m not ok with it! I’m actually mad, because I feel weak, confused,  and exhausted! No matter I do to better myself, I still feel so jealous of all my friends who continue to enjoy life regardless. Oh well….

To Those Who Have Been Confused Because I ‘Don’t Look Sick’ | The Mighty

https://themighty.com/2017/02/when-you-dont-look-sick-but-have-disease/

These are the comments I hear everyday, hell if didn’t do my hair or makeup then you would complain.Geesh, can win for losing!! Good article 😊

It Has To Get Better!

It’s about 2:45 a.m. and we are at a rest stop to get some sleep. Tuesday didn’t go so well with my son, he is now facing jail time after accepting a plea. I can’t tell you all the pain I felt, seeing my son, my baby boy, take a grown man deal. There was nothing I could do for him, nothing at all. As me and his baby’s mom sat there in tears, I felt like such a failure as a mom. I felt embarrassed, hurt, alone, and scared. His dad didn’t even try to make the damn trip, once again like always the burden was on me. Feeling like the scared 19 year old, when I first had him. I didn’t know what to do then or now. How did he get himself in this mess, some mess that will now forever ruin in his life??? My heart aches so bad, I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I feel like giving up. How much more can I take??? Since 2014, nothing but bad, sad news everyday and year. I just don’t understand what good can come out of this. Where is the positive in all this? Why do things continue to fall on my lap? Where did I go wrong in life? Why am I being punished so? I guess I don’t understand when or how life will get better for me. I’m tired, exhausted, frustrated, depressed and disappointed. Disappointed in myself, my life, and how I let things get out of hand. How can I go on? Everybody say I have to be strong for my son, but damn I’m tired! He like my dad, didn’t consider how this would affect me at all. Everybody walks around like, oh she will be ok! No, I’m not ok!!! I’m tired!! Tired of holding everybody problems in my hand. What I can’t understand is why God is allowing this? Why can’t I catch a break? It has to get better, but when???  Maybe the only peace and rest I’ll get is when I’m dead and gone. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran