So it’s raining out and I’m feeling a little bit sad, but happy! Happy I’m going out with friends tonight for dinner, nothing fancy just enjoying each other. I really need this company today, because I’m about to fall apart. Well have the date of when my grand baby will be here, although I’m totally excited, I’m also so sad. I had hope to be in better position financially, hell and mentally. I just was hoping to be this fabulous, rich, powerful woman by now. I hate my grandson has to come into this world, looking at the failure I’ve become. He deserves so much more, he also doesn’t need to have his fathers fate being handle by some judge. I’m just a mess over this!!! But then I’m sooo happy, because I can’t wait to see his cute little face staring up at me. So I ask again can you be happy and sad at the same time????? Chat soon!!!
I’m gone, no clothes, no dog, no personal belongings! I’m just gone! Tonight my husband treated me like he never liked me or respected me. Now granted he was this way before earlier in the marriage but I thought he changed. NOT!!! He’s mad because I missed a student loan payment, like he didn’t know I’ve been struggling these pass few weeks! He didn’t even look at me, just said “get away from me”! Treated me like I never existed. This hurt me to my core, I’m tired! I’m sleepy, disappointed, sad and mad! I left home, don’t know where I’m going but I’m gone! Screw it all!
Every time I just continue to disappoint myself!!!
Well what a difference a day makes, of course you all have read me saying that before. But it’s so true, yesterday was such a great day. My friends wedding day, a chance to get all dressed up and celebrate her. That’s exactly what I did, and my crazy brain stay away. She looked absolutely gorgeous and the groom wore a kilt (he’s Scottish)! When I tell you I was so obsessed with the kilts and tried to find out what was underneath 😂😂😂😂The wedding was just amazing and I had a lovely time. Came home a tad bit early, because I’m still exhausted from the Texas trip and wanted to just get in my bed. Slept pretty well all the way through church this morning, the pup didn’t even get me up! Smh! So my son and I got up and decided we would do some baby registries! Omg what fun I had with him pointing that little gun at all the baby things. They have so many new things out, I was overwhelmed by just love!!! I can’t wait to hold that little munchkin in my arms. But then reality sinks in, and we have to prepare ourselves for the day of sentencing. Will they send my son to jail? I can see how much it’s starting to weigh on him, he’s asking questions and I can’t help him. I can’t help my son out of this, I absolutely don’t know what the hell to do. Once again I’m just stuck, and it’s sad to say that the shots of liquor are becoming more frequent. If it isn’t food, it’s the drinking. One shot turns into the bottle, then I’m feeling sick and guilty the next day. One day I’m up, the next I’m down! I’m biting my nails and lips more often, my body feels like a truck hit me. I promise I’m trying to venture into new things, but it only holds my attention for seconds! Lord I’m just falling apart, again how much more can I take? Everybody keeps telling me it’s going to be ok? I wish I could believe that! Chat soon….
It’s been one of those days, today I feel nothing just numb! I don’t know if I’m happy or sad!!! I’m finally home, tired ass hell but can’t get it together. Went to clean this morning, no daycare at all. I don’t even know if I want to go back at there. Just so in between about life right now. Feel like I should continue doing all the new things I have planned, but scared to start anything out of fear. Out of the fear that, something else will fall on my plate and shatter my hopes. So today I’m just numb, lost, confused and undecided. I guess I’m all over the place in my mind, chat soon…
Found this really useful, so copying the same from the website I found it from. Everyone needs to read this and pass it on. Pain In Your Head. Pain in your head, like headaches, can be caused by stresses of the day. Take some time to relax and ease the stress every day. Pain […]
via 9 Pains Linked To Our Emotional States — Goin’ the extra..aaamile