Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude Day: 7

Wow 😊I had a great Tuesday, things have just been falling into place…finally the universe is giving me a break! Today I had the opportunity to speak about my books and the projects I have in the works (link coming)! I manage to bring a high paying client into my cleaning business, and all because I prayed without ceasing. I prayed during the times I didn’t understand, and during the times when I felt He forgot about me. Although all of my prayers haven’t been answered, I know now that miracles happen everyday. God knows I have a rough couple of years, and really needed Him to take me under His wings. I can’t thank Him enough for not leaving me hanging. I know now that my teacher is quiet during the test. So today I’m thankful for answered prayers, and for the people He is putting in my path. Constantly singing His praises 🙏🏽

“The more you thank life, the more life gives you to be thankful for.” -life’s cheerleader 

Ms. Fran

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Just Trying to Get Better

Happy Saturday evening you all, it’s been a little while. I wanted and needed to take a break from life and try to cope. This week to say the last was pretty hard on me and once again I felt like throwing in the towel. As most of you know, that court case was hovering over my sons head for a little while now. Yes, we really did get good news a couple of weeks ago, and I thought for sure we were putting this behind us. Well I was wrong, they have decided to send my son to jail!!!!! Yes….my son is going to have to do some prison time. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be saying that. My heart was just broken into pieces💔. This sweet, well-mannered, handsome kid. My kid??? I’m still shocked. Although he doesn’t have to do years, and they have decided he can spend the holidays with us, I’m still just shocked. I spent his whole life keeping him out of trouble, only for him to go off and do his own damn thing. I tried to keep my black son from being a statistic. Tried to keep him from being another black guy in the system. Where did I go wrong? What could I have changed? This has been really hard on me, but surprisingly I’m ok. I have been learning how to cope with life challenges lately, hell I’m so use to bad news. I have cried, I have also questioned God, but no matter how I feel it could be so much worse. I’m not happy at all about the way things have turned out for him, but I just have to believe God will give him a second chance at a better life. He had to suffer his consequences for being so hard-headed, and I’m more than sure he has learned his lesson. So I’m going to be there for him and my grandson, knowing I have to be strong for them. I don’t want him behind bars worrying himself to death about me. Man…this year like so many before, has dealt me another blow. I just have to keep believing eventually this curse hanging over my life will come to an end someday. Until then, I’m going to do my best and get through the rest of the year strong. I refuse to let this defeat me, I refuse to let depression continue to rule my life. I’m tired of being sad, I’m tired of my bed being the only thing I see most days. Life is passing me by and I’m not taking time to enjoy it. So here’s to the last couple of months we have left, and here’s to trying new things that are beneficial to helping me grow. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

What Else Can You Go!

This morning I was all set to give you all a long story and recap of my weekend, but to wake up to another heartbreaking news story just took over my mind. What is going on in this world? How can these attacks keep happening? I feel so sorry for everyone who had to endure this horrific event. Soon there isn’t going to be any place we can go. How do you have so much hatred in your heart, to afflict so much pain on others you don’t even know. I pray God comforts those who are grieving their love ones today. We have to find a way to heal our nation. This saddens me to my core, but not going to dwell too much on it. I know God will comfort us all. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

“…be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might” Eph. 6:10

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the week. Isaiah 40:29

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

So It’s Time to Choose Better Ones

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good, I was actually kicked out of bed by my hubby and dog. LOL! Neither one of us had to work this morning, so he decided to stay in bed and get some rest. As you all should know by now, I’m not a very good sleeper, so I’m up. Thinking about sipping on some coffee, YES! Coffee, I have never really like the stuff, but lately it’s been really relaxing sipping on a cup on my porch. My hubby is very happy about that, because he can drink coffee all damn day. So as I made it around to my office for prayer time, I saw a consistent theme of scriptures being presented in front of me. Mostly they all were about changing my habits, and letting God take care of everything. Now, of course I have read these same scriptures a thousand times, but they never really stick in my mind. Today I must say was different, I actually understood what the scriptures were pointing out. I have to change my habits, my bad habits, habits of being sad, habits of feeling like a failure. I mean I have drilled these bad habits into my mind and now I can’t seem to get them out. Also while reading, it said everything I am going through is just a test, and by the looks of it I’m failing with God bad. He’s not going to trust me with increase when I can’t be content where I’m at. I know we all struggle with this, and I’m wondering how many of you handle those things that life throws at you? I just have to stay focus on Him and not my problems. It gets so hard sometimes, but I have to put those coping skills to use. So I will be calling my therapist back today to continue my sessions, I can’t do this alone just yet and need all the help I can get. Well I’m off to walk the dog, and fix some breakfast….chat soon! Have a Terrific Tuesday…

Ms. Fran

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Prayers For Texas ❤️

This morning all I could do was cry, no not because I’m sad, but happy and blessed. As I look at the pictures coming out of  Texas my heart aches. I’m reminded this morning that my problems are nowhere near as bad. I can only imagine what it’s like to lose everything, no food, clothes, everything.! This week I choose to set my problems aside, and continue praying for those out there in need in Texas. The Lord is their comfort…..

Ms. Fran🙏🏽

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

And It Continues😔

Instead of 4 in the morning, it’s 3! Been up for hours now crying my eyes out. Is this a joke, could God just be teasing me? Things were going so good for me, then all of sudden. Sadness, despair, hopeless, and guilt starts to come around again. Do these feeling ever go away? I’m constantly following and reading self help books, scriptures, but nothing. One minute I’m on cloud 9, thinking to myself, “I can finally get past this”. I don’t care much how you pray, believe, or worship. God has His own timing and all you can do is wait. I guess I don’t blame Him this time, because I feel like a fool for thinking I was headed on a road to recovery. I’m back crying, having sleepless nights, and not eating like I should. I have abandoned all my projects I started, because I figure what’s the fucking use?!!! I’m back to the same failure of a person I see in the mirror everyday and basically with the way things are going, it shows too. I’m not going to lie that suicide hasn’t back into my mind. I mean what’s the use? God is waking me everyday just to get by. I’m just a mere existence, and for what? I feel like I’m losing it all over again, trying to hang in there for my son. In a couple of weeks we will learn his fate, and the way my life is going I believe God will take him away from me. That will be my undoing, I couldn’t live with myself if something happens to my son. Mannnn…I’ve seen so many bad days. I just decided this is another year, that’s not my year….I GIVE UP.

Ms. Fran😔