Day 3: A Mom is Sentence Too

The days seem long as hell, I know it’s only been three days but in my mind it feels like forever. I take my phone every place I go even in the shower, yes in the shower!! I don’t want to miss his call, hearing his voice somehow soothes me. We spoke today for the maximum 15 minutes, it’s totally annoying hearing that woman on the phone counting down your time. I now feel bad for the times I brushed him off because I was sleep, or depressed. Working all day helps me out, it’s the nights that worry me the most. He sounded a little better today, I sent some money to his girlfriend to put on his account to get some shoes and snacks. Can you believe his father hasn’t called me yet for the address or to find out how he is doing???? This baffles me so freaking much, because the one time my son could use his dad would be now. Thank God my husband has stepped up in his place, how stupid can you be? Oh well not going to dwell on his stupid ass for too long, hell my son could care less about him. I just can’t see how you don’t think about someone you brought into this world and call yourself a man. My heart aches for my son, I know he made his bed, but I’m still his mom. He will forever be my sweet baby boy… soon!

Ms. Fran


Don’t Give Up…Dare To Hope🙌🏾

Daring To Hope

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. (NLT) ( Lamentations 3:21-22 )

Have you stopped daring to hope? At times, our hope in our dreams and plans on this earth to do great things diminish when we don’t see a sliver of success. But don’t let that stop you from believing in yourself. Remember, even though we may not see God, our hope in His love and grace is always there. Keep hoping no matter what.

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Just Trying to Get Better

Happy Saturday evening you all, it’s been a little while. I wanted and needed to take a break from life and try to cope. This week to say the last was pretty hard on me and once again I felt like throwing in the towel. As most of you know, that court case was hovering over my sons head for a little while now. Yes, we really did get good news a couple of weeks ago, and I thought for sure we were putting this behind us. Well I was wrong, they have decided to send my son to jail!!!!! Yes….my son is going to have to do some prison time. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be saying that. My heart was just broken into pieces💔. This sweet, well-mannered, handsome kid. My kid??? I’m still shocked. Although he doesn’t have to do years, and they have decided he can spend the holidays with us, I’m still just shocked. I spent his whole life keeping him out of trouble, only for him to go off and do his own damn thing. I tried to keep my black son from being a statistic. Tried to keep him from being another black guy in the system. Where did I go wrong? What could I have changed? This has been really hard on me, but surprisingly I’m ok. I have been learning how to cope with life challenges lately, hell I’m so use to bad news. I have cried, I have also questioned God, but no matter how I feel it could be so much worse. I’m not happy at all about the way things have turned out for him, but I just have to believe God will give him a second chance at a better life. He had to suffer his consequences for being so hard-headed, and I’m more than sure he has learned his lesson. So I’m going to be there for him and my grandson, knowing I have to be strong for them. I don’t want him behind bars worrying himself to death about me. Man…this year like so many before, has dealt me another blow. I just have to keep believing eventually this curse hanging over my life will come to an end someday. Until then, I’m going to do my best and get through the rest of the year strong. I refuse to let this defeat me, I refuse to let depression continue to rule my life. I’m tired of being sad, I’m tired of my bed being the only thing I see most days. Life is passing me by and I’m not taking time to enjoy it. So here’s to the last couple of months we have left, and here’s to trying new things that are beneficial to helping me grow. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran

What Else Can You Go!

This morning I was all set to give you all a long story and recap of my weekend, but to wake up to another heartbreaking news story just took over my mind. What is going on in this world? How can these attacks keep happening? I feel so sorry for everyone who had to endure this horrific event. Soon there isn’t going to be any place we can go. How do you have so much hatred in your heart, to afflict so much pain on others you don’t even know. I pray God comforts those who are grieving their love ones today. We have to find a way to heal our nation. This saddens me to my core, but not going to dwell too much on it. I know God will comfort us all. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

“…be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of His might” Eph. 6:10

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the week. Isaiah 40:29

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

I Ran Out Of Steam 😞

Well I knew the day would come, and I was dreading it. I’ve been on this emotional high, then I came crashing down like some street drug. I ran out steam, confidence, and hope! Yesterday was not a good day at all, my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t believe it, I was back to thinking things were not going to work. So I just laid my ass down after a wild morning, I just was physically and mentally exhausted. I haven’t felt this way in a while, and it scared me. Could I be falling back down that dark tunnel? Lord I hope not, but I know that I’m a long way from being cured. Oh well I see my therapist today and I plan on talking this out with her. Until then I’m going to get my butt up and start this day. Wishing you all a great Thursday…chat soon!!

Ms. Fran