A Mom is Sentenced Too: 79 days and counting! 😔

Some days are better than others, I cry, I laugh, I worry. I wait for his emails like I’m waiting for a tax check to come through the mail. Lol ok, I needed that laugh! I’m up early this morning after crying my little heart out. I miss my son so much, my heartaches like hell. Why does it hurt so bad? I don’t wish this pain on anyone, I can’t fix it, Lord, momma can’t fix and I feel horrible. There’s nothing I can do. I pray and pray, hoping God hears my prayers. Again there are days that I’m so busy the time just passes by. Then there are days like this one where I can only think where did it all go wrong. How long does he have to be back there? Hasn’t he been punished enough? I mean there are real freaking criminals out here. His little boy is going up before his eyes and it pains me that he is missing the little things. His father still hasn’t called or written him. I wonder if he is up like me, shit I doubt it! You have to be a real piece of shit to not care about your son being locked away like some animal. I know that he’ll be ok and I know God has his back. I just need to see him and lay my eyes on him. I’m supposed to go there next weekend for Easter. I just need to look in his eyes to see for myself if he’s ok. My baby boy, smh! My heart is being sentenced too. The love for a child is a whole other ’love’.

Ms. Fran

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A Mom Is Sentenced Too: Made it 30 Days

Well it’s now February, we have made it exactly 34 days, I’m so amazed at how I made it through. Some days are better than others, but we are doing the best we can. It took a little minute for him to settle in, but he has made do. I still get worried from time to time, and have trouble sleeping at night. He’s my only child and everyday I think of him, never imagining him behind prison bars. I’m going to visit him this month, his birthday is on the 28th, and I hate he has to spend his 22nd birthday back there. I have found some support groups online that I engage with, it breaks my heart to read all the mothers comments. I’m just glad I’m not alone in this, and know that it’s not my fault he is back there. Most of the family speaks with him, and his father hasn’t called or put any money in his account. It pisses me off so bad, but hell did we think he would do anything? Oh well I’m just happy that I have kept myself busy and haven’t had too much time to cry or be sad. All I know now is this has been the most humbling experience, and it’s really painful to admit this. I never wanted to be this parent, I have protected him so long. He is my life and I miss him so much, hope I’m in a good place in my head to see him in that uniform. His girlfriend told me he looks good and healthy, she said she also feels a little more relax when visiting him. That makes me feel somewhat ok, but as a mom I need to see this shit for myself, lol! My baby boy….please God continue to send angles to protect him everyday. 

Ms. Fran

Why do first-time male offenders receive jail sentences instead of probation or rehabilitation? 🤔

The current Justice system seems to work pretty well in most cases, but it does have its caveats. One of the major issues for a lot of people is that first time male offenders are facing injustice when they commit any type of felony. That’s especially true for the African American men that didn’t commit any felony at first.

According to a study shown in The Guardian, it seems that longer prison terms do cut crime. But the reality is that this analysis does hide a more complicated problem. If you increase the average sentence for burglary with a month, you reduce offending with around 0.5%. But in the end, all this does is it delays re-offending.

As a result, this also ends up ruining the life of a first-time felon as well. The more a person stays behind bars, the harder it will be for them to re-integrate in the regular society.

Ms. Fran

Some Days are Better than Others!

Sometimes left to myself I get kind of sad and low, my husband for once notice I wasn’t feeling happy today. Some days are better than others, today isn’t that day! I miss my son so much and being so far away from him makes it even worse, I just still can’t wrap my mind around him being back there. As I sit here typing and crying my little eyes out, I keep looking at all of his things in the closet and wonder how did we get here? I know it isn’t my fault, because I raised him well. Just how did we go from a boy scout uniform, football uniform, army uniform, to a prison one? I swear I’m doing so much better than I imagine I would, just the thought of not knowing what’s going on between waiting on emails and calls is pure HELL. I don’t wish the way I feel on my worst enemy, this isn’t fun. My cousin who son was murdered told me, “at least you get to see him”! I know where she is coming from and feel so bad that my son is living, but he’s living behind bars like an animal. I didn’t raise some dog dammit, my heart hurts like hell. On the bright side, glad hubby is watching me and feeling my pain sometimes. He came home with the most beautiful flowers, so something good is coming out of this situation. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Days: 13-15 A Mom is Sentence Too

Wow it’s been only 15 days! I miss him so much, just picking up the phone to call him. I have like 15 jokes I need to tell him and can’t. Today I was feeling a bit blue before saying my prayers…But God🙌🏾 He knows how to send me to the right scriptures. I just have to keep remembering He got this. Well at least he got to see the kids, he was a little bummed because my grand was acting a little funny to him. That really hurt him bad, but I explained that he will come around once he gets back home. His girlfriend told me that my son was hanging around some shady characters back there. This just pisses me off because once again he will be influenced by other people who don’t care about life. I pray my son uses his brain this time and stay the hell out of trouble, but I’m curious? Are they bullying him? Is he just trying to survive in this environment. Again I just don’t understand how they stick people back there knowing this wasn’t his life before. He didn’t commit murder for heavens sake..I’m just going to keep praying and hope he doesn’t make any stupid decisions. Haven’t heard from him today, the waiting is sickening. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran

A NOTE FOR MOMS DEALING WITH INCARCERATED CHILD

Recognize that courage

Losing your loved one to the criminal justice system is full of grief and may God never punish anyone like this. But struggling and coping with this tough situation is what moms should do! Ending racism and differences between an African American woman & American woman will take both courage and time. But gathering all the courage to look yourself in mirror and being the change you wish to see in this world, can be initiated now itself!

Ms. Fran

Days 10-12 A Mom is Sentence Too

Happy visiting day for my son, he got to see his little family today since he has been locked up! He seemed so happy on the phone last night when I spoke with him. He got a big surprise because my sweet grand is saying “da-da”! I’m so excited about everything that little fella is doing. Just really hate my son is missing these firsts! I’m just glad the baby won’t remember him being back there at all. So I’m sitting here with the phone close to me, can’t wait to hear all about my sons exciting day!!! Chat soon!

Ms. Fran

Days: 8-9 A Mom is Sentence Too!

Just got off the phone with him and he was very upbeat, considering yesterday day he got his release date. November 9, 2018 my birthday month! This would be the best gift ever to see my son put this shit behind him. I email him constantly even when I know he can’t email right back. I take the phone every where I go, because I never want to miss his call. Some days are better than others, but today I was pretty bummed out. I just really hate him being back there! Oh well it’s a long weekend so he will be able to see his little boy. That will put a big small on all their faces, can’t wait until next month so I can see him too.

A little pic of my sweet grand baby 💙💙💙

A NOTE FOR MOMS DEALING WITH INCARCERATED CHILD

It is tough…

It is tough to be a woman, tougher to be a mother but toughest to be a mother of ‘black’ child. This is because the perception of people changes when they see someone who is black and we have all the instances to prove that injustice do happen with so called ‘black’ people. Mother shatters when she sees her child in unrelenting pain and trauma. It is not easy to see your dearest one go through a situation of anguish and pain rather than a life full of tranquillity and peace!

Ms. Fran

Day 3: A Mom is Sentence Too

The days seem long as hell, I know it’s only been three days but in my mind it feels like forever. I take my phone every place I go even in the shower, yes in the shower!! I don’t want to miss his call, hearing his voice somehow soothes me. We spoke today for the maximum 15 minutes, it’s totally annoying hearing that woman on the phone counting down your time. I now feel bad for the times I brushed him off because I was sleep, or depressed. Working all day helps me out, it’s the nights that worry me the most. He sounded a little better today, I sent some money to his girlfriend to put on his account to get some shoes and snacks. Can you believe his father hasn’t called me yet for the address or to find out how he is doing???? This baffles me so freaking much, because the one time my son could use his dad would be now. Thank God my husband has stepped up in his place, how stupid can you be? Oh well not going to dwell on his stupid ass for too long, hell my son could care less about him. I just can’t see how you don’t think about someone you brought into this world and call yourself a man. My heart aches for my son, I know he made his bed, but I’m still his mom. He will forever be my sweet baby boy…..chat soon!

Ms. Fran