Well it’s now February, we have made it exactly 34 days, I’m so amazed at how I made it through. Some days are better than others, but we are doing the best we can. It took a little minute for him to settle in, but he has made do. I still get worried from time to time, and have trouble sleeping at night. He’s my only child and everyday I think of him, never imagining him behind prison bars. I’m going to visit him this month, his birthday is on the 28th, and I hate he has to spend his 22nd birthday back there. I have found some support groups online that I engage with, it breaks my heart to read all the mothers comments. I’m just glad I’m not alone in this, and know that it’s not my fault he is back there. Most of the family speaks with him, and his father hasn’t called or put any money in his account. It pisses me off so bad, but hell did we think he would do anything? Oh well I’m just happy that I have kept myself busy and haven’t had too much time to cry or be sad. All I know now is this has been the most humbling experience, and it’s really painful to admit this. I never wanted to be this parent, I have protected him so long. He is my life and I miss him so much, hope I’m in a good place in my head to see him in that uniform. His girlfriend told me he looks good and healthy, she said she also feels a little more relax when visiting him. That makes me feel somewhat ok, but as a mom I need to see this shit for myself, lol! My baby boy….please God continue to send angles to protect him everyday.