Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

From Brokeness to Wholeness

As I’ve told you all, I have join this new mentoring group Diamonds and Pearls. I’ve been learning so much and thought I’d share some more of our discussions: 

From Brokeness to Wholeness

Our life is full of brokeness- broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live with that without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives. – Henri Nouwen

Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokeness as an integral part of life. -Parker J. Palmer

Discussion Questions

  1. What does brokeness mean to you?
  2. Share what your brokeness looks and feels like.
  3. Brokeness is a place where you need to be to start over; to be filled; to decrease; to be mended

This discussion was so great and once I again I found out so much about myself. It also felt good to be able to share how you feel in a judgement free zone. So take down these questions and try writing them down in a journey and come back to them later. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran😊

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 2

Omg is it Friday yet??? My body is just dragging along, so I would like to say that I’m so grateful today for the person who invented coffee. Yes!!!! Coffee, now I’m not that big on coffee, I just started drinking it, but my gosh it does something to me. I woke up this morning moving slow like a turtle, then I poured a cup of coffee and BOOM!!! I was ready to conquer the day. lol so that’s what I’m thankful for today. Now, on yesterday I wrote down the 5 things I was grateful for so here we go:

  1. So thankful for my struggles
  2. Thankful for my meds
  3. Thankful for my therapist
  4. Thankful to be smiling again
  5. And last but least, thankful for music

These may seem kind of crazy to some of you, but for those of you who have been reading my blog know my struggle. I had to go through the bad stuff to come out of it on top. With the help of the right meds that regulate my brain, and the therapist who cares enough to actually listen. The first lady was just horrible, and a little judgemental. Aww, to be smiling again…it really feels good to see my smile in the mirror now. For a long time all I could see was this sad face with baggy blood-shot red eyes staring back at me. No hope in my eyes, all lost and gone. Lifeless eyes, feeling unworthy and ugly. No longer do I look that way, and lastly I’m so thankful for music. Music that keeps me dancing around the house and singing without even noticing it. I’m having a little karaoke party to myself, and my pup is the audience. lol!! This is why I love this quote, because I hoped for once to be happy again. Things are not perfect, but lord knows they are better than they use to be. I don’t desire much, just for me to learn how to count my blessings during the storm. This list may seem kind of crazy, but it was all I prayed for. On that note, hope you all were thinking of some things to be grateful in your day. No matter what it is, be grateful because someone is wishing for a lot more. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

“My life isn’t perfect, but I’m THANKFUL for everything I have”- Daveswordsofwisdom

“Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly”- Tony Robbins

Psalms: 100:4 “Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!”

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude… Day 1

November is upon us, which means the holidays are right around the corner. With that being said, instead of waiting for Thanksgiving to be ‘thankful’, I have decided to figure out something to be ‘thankful’ for the rest of the month. I have decided that maybe seeing the good things in my life, might out weigh the bad. I have come so far these last months, and really feel ‘thankful’ God hasn’t given up on me. The more we focus on what’s right in our life, the better we will feel. I think if we are grateful for those good days, then the bad ones should receive a little love. I mean if it wasn’t for the bad days, I wouldn’t be able to overcome shit in life. My life wasn’t as bad as I thought, but the way I reacted to those things made it seem worse. I’m learning so much lately, and can’t say enough how glad I am that God was on my side. So what are you all ‘thankful’ for? despite the hard days, is there one thing in a day that you can say, “ok I’m thankful for that”. Hell I don’t care if it’s,” hey I showered today”….I know all to well what life is like when depression takes over your mind. So I will start off day one by: writing 5 things I’m ‘thankful’ for today and will share them with you all later in another post. I would love to hear from you all as well. Thanksgiving isn’t the only time to be ‘thankful’….chat soon.

“Give thanks for all of the opportunities that even our struggles bring”-Unvieled Wife

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Love Life💕

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” 
– Arthur Rubenstein

 

Finding this quote to be so true, if you go around hating yourself and life, there will never be a good outcome! Loving life also starts with loving yourself, enough to know when to improve your surroundings. Some people can’t go with you on your next journey, because you are loving life and they are stuck in it….

http:/www.amazon.com/dp/B076HXG9JW 

Your a Guide To Self Improvement 

“7 Steps To a Better You”

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Yeah Just Like That…..

Yeah just like that…..just like that I did decide that life has beaten me down enough. Just like that….I decided I was tired of crying, going to bed sad, and walking around all day like a zombie. I’m tired of not enjoying life, and letting the world pass me by. Although I’m not cured, I have just taken the advice of my therapist and mentors to get my ass up. Get my ass up and complete all the things I put on my list, get my ass up and get to working on making the last part of this year fucking great. And NO nothing major in my life has changed, I’m still suffering from mental illness, I still don’t have much saved up in the bank, and I still need my meds everyday. I didn’t get cured, I just decided my illness can no longer run my life. I can’t continue to sit around hoping and praying that my life magically changes, I have to also put in the damn work. Remember, “faith without works is dead”(James 2:14)” so here we go. As I release this new e-book, I’m hoping that my story helps to also turn somebody’s life around. These steps I have implemented in my life, and I’m starting to see some major results. Although I know with the ending of this year, I will be starting the new year off seeing my only child go to jail, but I need to be strong. I need to be strong for him, my grandchild, and his little family. I never thought in a million damn years that I would be the mother of a prisoner, but this is the  hand we were dealt. So I’m going to stand strong behind him, we all make mistakes and hopefully this will be a BIG damn lesson learned. Whooooo, you see with all the things on my plate, I could be sad from now into next year. So go out download or buy the book, leave reviews and tell me what you think. Chat soon, enjoy……

Ms. Fran

http:/www.amazon.com/dp/B076HXG9JW 

Your a Guide To Self Improvement 

“7 Steps To a Better You”

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

It’s Monday, Cloudy and Gloomy…but I’m in a Great mood!

Happy Monday, here we are again, another new week. It seems to be going pretty fast, and I’m just a little scared of that. I feel like I running out of time to get things done by the end of the year. I feel like I have to scratch something off my to-do list. As you know the first part of my year was pure hell, and I don’t want to end the it that way. Oh well, I have lots of work to do and I need to get my ass on it. Monday is a new day to start new things, I keep looking back at my writings how much I dreaded this day. Funny how life changes, but this time I’m hoping for the good. There comes a time when you want something more, and my time has come. There is also a time when you just know you need more dammit, and for so long I have just let time pass me by. Although I couldn’t control the thoughts in my head at the time, I just feel like I have so much catching up to do. So instead of looking at Monday as some life changing disaster, I now just see it as a new beginning to a great week. So if you are also feeling like there is something you need to get done, get up off your butt and get to it. We shouldn’t be waiting for the New Year to start what we have been putting off this year, so here’s to finishing up the year GREAT!!!!! Chat soon……

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

A week in Review and a Lesson Learned for this Monday!

Good morning all, it’s been a couple of days since I posted. Last week started off super, than by Wednesday I was in complete meltdown. (also was out of meds) Things were being thrown at me from left to right, and I just didn’t have the strength to fight back. I was weak and I let life totally get the best of me last week, I’m still in place in my life that makes me sick. I cried, laid in the bed, didn’t fix my hair, and of course I avoided everyone. I even called my therapist and informed her that I was no longer going to be seeing her. Yes, it got that damn bad! I was sick to my stomach, and didn’t eat anything at all. Little did I know two days without my meds was not a good thing. No one informed me of the side effects that came along with not taking them. So the last part of the week was complete HOT MESS! I didn’t get anything done as usual, all I did was keep asking God to take this illness away from me. I forgot every coping skill I learned in therapy, I was just a damn mess. Then it hit me on Saturday, that I needed to ‘man up’, I needed to get out of bed and stop letting depression win all the time. Every time things don’t go the way I have plan, I crawl back into my shell and stay stuck there. I looked around my office and saw all the progress I have made, and decided that I have to fucking do better. I mean I have my second e-book sitting here ready for publish and I haven’t even released it yet. I have a new life certificate that I earned last week, new items in my store and my grand baby is turning three months old tomorrow. See, there are so many good things I have going on. I just can’t for the life me get my shit together! Oh well I wasted a whole 4 days being depressed, and withdrawn, accomplishing not one damn thing. I’m so mad I could scream. I feel like the world isn’t going to be waiting much longer for me to come around. Lately I’ve been so afraid to step out of my shell, I mean my anxiety is at an all time high right now. I that someone out there can relate to what I’m going through, but please don’t get stuck. Being stuck isn’t fun and it is crippling me. I just feel so helpless sometimes, and very embarrassed by this. Here I am a 40-year-old granny, who can’t get her shit together. This also bothers me, than back in my shell I go. LIfe shouldn’t be this hard, hell it probably isn’t, I just over think the whole damn thing. Well you live and learn, so I better get my ass up and get to adulting. Have a great week, and don’t get stuck. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

OH MONDAY!

Oh Monday. I could complain about you being here so soon again, but I won’t! I will make today a productive  one. I won’t think of all the negative things that popped into my head as I started writing this post. Just hoping this week is great and I can finally get some of my projects off the ground. So let me just focus on what I’m grateful for, I’m grateful for God waking me up again this morning. He has more faith in me than I do myself. When I continue to dwell in self-doubt, He’s always right there rooting for me. I’m grateful for my family, and thank God for them. I’m grateful for the little I have, because so many others have lost so much. I’m grateful for Monday, even when I dread getting out the bed in the mornings. So today I choose to be grateful, because I’m learning God doesn’t increase you if you’re not happy where you are. I will admit, I’m having trouble just mediocre and feel like I’m destined for greatness. I guess I just have to wait until the universe steers my way. I believe if I continue to see Monday as some traumatic life experience, I will never be able to get my life together. And, it turns gratitude makes your life happier and healthier. Oh Monday how grateful I am to see you….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

And That’s Not a Bad Thing!

Greetings bloggers, since I have decided to steer my energy away from my depressed self. I have a really had a good couple of days, I met with my therapist and I go back again today. So this week is shaping up to be pretty good. With that being said, since I have been focusing lately, I have decided that there is still so much to learn. I’m still learning about myself, family, and my spiritual life. Yesterday, I did a little revamping to my social media. I’ve decided I will know longer post my blog, online store, or quotes on my personal FB page. On that page I learned that most of the people on that page are lookers, but not supporters. I have had tons of people who order from my online stores, but would never actually praise me on their page. Behind the scenes they are totally happy, or at least that’s what they say. So I have decided to just leave those people on that page, in order for me to grow my tribe, I need to be around like-minded people. People that support not just by buying something, but with encouraging words. I’m also learning that, if they don’t constantly praise me that’s ok. I’m my own cheerleader and I don’t have to wait around for people to appreciate me. I’m learning that it feels so much better to look ahead than backwards. I spend so much time criticizing myself for I what I didn’t do, then praising the new things I have accomplished. So yes I’m still learning and that’s ok! I’m learning that when God said ‘No’, that doesn’t mean He doesn’t care. I’m also learning that it’s a lot easier to waste time than it is to find time. I spent all that time sleeping or staring at the TV getting nothing done, this week I decided to forgo the naps and invest some time in me. I’m learning that at the age 40 my best years are still to come. I always think I’m getting to old to start over. I’m learning that people nomatter what will always have shit to say, hell I could be on the Forbes list and they would complain. I’m learning that there is more to me than just my depressed self. I’m learning that I need God more and more each day. Even with the little stuff, like just asking for strength to get through the day. I’m learning that you’re opinion of me doesn’t fucking matter, hell I like me and that’s all that counts. LOL Well you all get the picture, I’m still learning and that’s ok!!! Chat soon…. follow my new FB page!

www.facebook.com/olivia.shepherd.blackgirldown.me

Ms. Fran

 

 

Ms. Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

A Little Sunday Motivation 😊

Happy Sunday, not much going on today! I’m finally at my desk trying to get some things done. So far so good!😊 It’s beautiful outside, to bad I’m not feeling up to being out there. Just going to focus on my work inside, I got to get ready for my big yard sale this coming Saturday. This has been very relaxing and sad at the same time. Looking through all my old junk and seeing things that remind me of happier times. That then depresses me, but I just toss it away and move on. You can tell a lot about yourself and life by the junk you keep. Holding on to the past isn’t good for me anymore. Well not going to be a ‘debbie downer’😌hope you all have the best Sunday. Relax mentally and get prepared for a new week….chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran💕