Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Well it has hit me!!☹️🎄

Yes I do…all I have done this morning is cry! Last night I got some troubling news from my son, who only has 24 days to go and it just breaks my hurt. It wasn’t anything bad, I just think this girl and her family trying to use him. (more on that later) I just keep walking around the house, listening to Christmas music and wishing my boy was home. I just want to spend a little more time with him before he goes off . I could fly there again, but the last time was not good(more on that too). I want him home, everybody keeps telling me I have to let him live his life. How can I just let go? My only son is going to jail, and I’m sorry I feel horrible today. All I want to do is drink and stay in bed. I had plan on going out today, but I can’t even bring myself to eat. It’s getting harder and harder as the days go by so swiftly. I look into his room and cry, cry and wonder what went wrong? I really don’t want to fall back into my hole, but I just can’t cope right now. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Feeling a bit iffy today….

It’s Saturday afternoon, I’m just waking up for the 2nd time today. Didn’t sleep because I was mentally tired, but because I did a little partying last night. 😊All that dancing 💃 did my mind some good, but my body is a damn wreck😂 I absolutely had the best damn time. So I get up and my mind just wanders off into the other place, the place I hate it going. I don’t know if it’s because I had some down time, or if having fun made me feel guilty about something. But What????? I’ve been feeling really good lately. My mind is clear, my work life is good, so what could it be? Well I’m not going to dwell on this to long, don’t want to get stuck in that crazy place in my brain. I feel so free right now and really love the smile I have on my face. But behind this smile there are really a thousand feelings going. There I go overthinking again..ugh!!! Hope you all are having a great weekend so far. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Just Trying to Get Better

Happy Saturday evening you all, it’s been a little while. I wanted and needed to take a break from life and try to cope. This week to say the last was pretty hard on me and once again I felt like throwing in the towel. As most of you know, that court case was hovering over my sons head for a little while now. Yes, we really did get good news a couple of weeks ago, and I thought for sure we were putting this behind us. Well I was wrong, they have decided to send my son to jail!!!!! Yes….my son is going to have to do some prison time. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be saying that. My heart was just broken into pieces💔. This sweet, well-mannered, handsome kid. My kid??? I’m still shocked. Although he doesn’t have to do years, and they have decided he can spend the holidays with us, I’m still just shocked. I spent his whole life keeping him out of trouble, only for him to go off and do his own damn thing. I tried to keep my black son from being a statistic. Tried to keep him from being another black guy in the system. Where did I go wrong? What could I have changed? This has been really hard on me, but surprisingly I’m ok. I have been learning how to cope with life challenges lately, hell I’m so use to bad news. I have cried, I have also questioned God, but no matter how I feel it could be so much worse. I’m not happy at all about the way things have turned out for him, but I just have to believe God will give him a second chance at a better life. He had to suffer his consequences for being so hard-headed, and I’m more than sure he has learned his lesson. So I’m going to be there for him and my grandson, knowing I have to be strong for them. I don’t want him behind bars worrying himself to death about me. Man…this year like so many before, has dealt me another blow. I just have to keep believing eventually this curse hanging over my life will come to an end someday. Until then, I’m going to do my best and get through the rest of the year strong. I refuse to let this defeat me, I refuse to let depression continue to rule my life. I’m tired of being sad, I’m tired of my bed being the only thing I see most days. Life is passing me by and I’m not taking time to enjoy it. So here’s to the last couple of months we have left, and here’s to trying new things that are beneficial to helping me grow. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Early 4 a.m Thoughts 💭 

Well I’m up at my usual time, not because I’m worried or dwelling in self doubt! I’m up because I’m thinking about all the things I have going on. Lately I’ve been moving in the right direction, trying to get my life back on track. I’ve been praying, hoping, and believing. Things seemed to be going good, then I get stuck. Something seems to come up and knock me 2 steps back! Like the quote, I know I didn’t come this far to only come this far. I just feel stuck, like I can’t move out of this life. It’s like the universe is saying, “no you were only meant to go this far”! How can that be? I have so much in me, and for once I have the motivation and energy to conquer the world. It’s like my life is a BIG tease. I pray for the right opportunities and people to surround me, but then I can’t move. I’m stuck like a big rock in the middle of the road. I don’t know where to go. Again I know I didn’t come this far, to only big stuck…..

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Princess Diana Talks Mental Health In Newly Uncovered Interviews

I love hearing stories about this Princess, I was a little younger back then and was so in awe of her. To hear that she suffered  from what so many of us common folks suffer with. I could only imagine the ‘mask’ she had to wear, having to be perfect because all of our eyes are watching. Must’ve been so painful, and hard to cope with! 

Ms. Fran😊

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I’m Falling Apart…literally🤕

So after being told I may have breast cancer, fibrosis, and arthritis. I went one more time to get a 5th opinion, and they did all kinds of heart stuff. I’m like NO! It’s under my breast and the pain is unbearable dude!!!! After he saw I was serious and mad, they put me in this cool new CT scan machine and injected me with some fluid that makes you feel like you have to pee. It ran real hot through my body, which felt made me fill a little freaky, lol! Oh well the diagnosis was a fractured rib..🙄yes don’t ask how I do it, because I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I have been in pain for several weeks and finally somebody told me. Now I’m going to take it easy and rest my little body! Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Ran Out Of Steam 😞

Well I knew the day would come, and I was dreading it. I’ve been on this emotional high, then I came crashing down like some street drug. I ran out steam, confidence, and hope! Yesterday was not a good day at all, my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t believe it, I was back to thinking things were not going to work. So I just laid my ass down after a wild morning, I just was physically and mentally exhausted. I haven’t felt this way in a while, and it scared me. Could I be falling back down that dark tunnel? Lord I hope not, but I know that I’m a long way from being cured. Oh well I see my therapist today and I plan on talking this out with her. Until then I’m going to get my butt up and start this day. Wishing you all a great Thursday…chat soon!!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Tuesday Motivation 🤗

Well I’ve heard this quote several times in my dark moments, but never believed it was true! Man….what a difference a month makes!!  I do believe life is tough and damn right so am I. I was in a bad place, couldn’t see my way through but here I stand after all that. I still have my moments, but I believe it’s how you react to the moments that matters. So when life gets tough, stay the course because it will be over soon. I don’t know the hour or day, just don’t give up!!! Have a Terrific Tuesday and find the good in today, big or small!!! Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran😊💕