Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Well I Made it Through the Week!!

Happy Holidays ya’ll, it’s Saturday and I haven’t gotten any shopping done for the rest of my friends and family. I have decided to just shop online and be done with it. My anxiety is too much for the crowds out there in the malls, but everybody looks so happy to be spending all their damn money, lol! Well I manage to make  it through the end of the week without falling completely apart. Both of my groups this week were very helpful, and I had dinner with my Ivory my sweet friend. He constantly lets me just rant and go on without telling me to shut up, lol! I’m trying to keep really busy as the time counts down, I have some orders for bracelets, I’m putting together a new FB group and working on lots of new things for 2018. I was even thinking of hosting a little late night dinner with my mom and sister, but that idea just went straight pass me. I really don’t want to be alone this year, I feel like if I’m left alone I will melt down. I need some laughter in my life, but my mom and sister work my damn nerve. The more I’m around my mom, the worse I feel. I don’t  know if I mentioned that I hired her to work with me in the afternoons twice a week. Once again trying to take care somebody when I’m fortunate enough to share. She really needs the extra cash and I try to get her out the house more, but I just can’t bear to be around her for too long. I love her to death, but when I see her life style I’m just so depressed. She’s only 63 years old and acts like she’s 75, mom doesn’t come her hair, put on clothes, or even get out and date. It makes me sad, that I have one parent I’m taking care of  already and now I feel like I’m doing the same with her, just wish she would get herself together. I keep thinking if I’m constantly around them, I will never be more than I am right now. You all know my story, and that I have started doing things a lot late in life, but I don’t want to be pulled back in. Don’t want to be pulled in to that, ‘I’m just ok life’! I just want so much more, and I’m not going to let my circumstances hold me back. They just seem the same way from year to year, and I’m just so scared that they want to let me go. I told my hubby that I wanted to find someone or my sister to take care of dad, so me and him can move to another state. The only thing is dad probably would be crushed if I did that. That’s another topic, I feel so stuck with him even though he’s not living with me anymore. Oh well not going to bore you all with my sadness. So wishing you all a great Saturday, chat soon….

Ms. Fran

 

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Christmas Thoughts!!

Happy Tuesday, well I’ve been sitting around feeling sad and in my feelimgs, but decided to get up and just be thankful. As I look around at my life I have come a long way and I don’t plan to give up. There are so many people who won’t have family with them this year, and people who still don’t have homes to live in, and people escaping fires like crazy. It could be so much worse for these people and yet you usually see them on the news helping others. Here I am with a roof over my head, food, clothes, hell a pretty decent fucking life.I  know you all were thinking that, just sometimes I have to think on things a little longer. So I’m going to volunteer somewhere and keep my mind off of the bad things. I know that things will be ok and I just have to get through this as well, so I’m hanging the suicide thoughts up for the rest of this year. My son seems to be in good spirits, and I don’t want to ruin that for him. So off I go to spread some holiday cheer, also my doc put me on another med to ease the anxiety for a bit. Hope it works….chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Love Therapy Day😊👍🏾

Who said ‘therapy’ was a bad word??? Ok I’m asking that question again, because this has been the best thing that has happened for me. My therapist is super understanding and feels like an old friend, she constantly shares things with me that makes me feel so comfortable. I explained to her after group therapy, that I was having a rough morning. I explained to her how I was starting to feel some type of way about my son. She totally understood and revealed to me that she has a brother in jail right now. I was surprised, see you think just because they are therapist, they don’t have the same problems you do. She explained that it’s ok to have my feelings, because he is my only son. I still see him as the little boy I raised, that’s when she told me, he’s going to be find and my life can go on. Her brother is still locked up after 10 years and she said her mom is doing fine. There will be hard days she said, but I just have to keep praying and keep myself busy. So I left there today feeling so much better, I know it’s going to be hard. I’m just so glad I’m in better place now to be able to handle the hard stuff. She promised to be there for me just like my friends, I feel much better tonight!!! Hope Monday was awesome for you all, chat soon….

Ms. Fran😊

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Fashion Show Alert…about Sunday!!!😊👗

Well if you read this blog, you know that I was preparing myself for a fashion show Sunday past. My anxiety was sky high, and my nerves were in my stomach. I wanted to just pass out. My dress was cute, the venue was fab, and all of my friends were there…including my sister. I stepped into the place and just had to catch my breath. I couldn’t believe I had signed up for this shit, lol! I’m not ready to come out of the anxiety closet yet!!! My hubby was very supportive and did a lot of encouraging me before time. I was breathing so heavy, I had to stand outside and catch my breath. Can you believe last year this time I was a fucking basket case. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. My soul was dark and cloudy like my mind. Well….needless to say the fashion show was a success and I did the damn thing.!! I gathered my nerves together, with the help of my ladies in the group and my friends and walked out fabulous. I felt like the old confident, Diva 👨‍🎤 me!!! It was amazing…I can’t thank Diamonds and Pearls enough for allowing me into the group. They were very welcoming and just took me in! My friends cheered me on and it ended up becoming a fun night. I did all of my breathing exercises and decided it was all or nothing. So here are a few pics from the night…chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude Day: 9-13

Wow I’ve been a busy little bee 🐝 these past couple of days. I’m waking up on this Monday morning feeling so thankful and blessed. All I can do is cry, cry tears of joy! Life last year this time and before, was dark, blue, and cloudy. I had no where to turn, suicide was constantly on my mind, I just felt life gave up on me. I was in a bad place in my mind and soul. My body was hurting, could barely move out the bed. Constant anxiety attacks, hair falling out, and I didn’t care to eat. I hated myself, my life, and God. I couldn’t believe he was allowing this to happen to be me. But God…and only God can change things.🙌🏾 Today I’m thankful for those struggles and past hurts! I’m thankful for friends that continually support through my ups and downs. I can’t express to you all how incredibly thankful I am..hope this Monday finds you all well. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran😊💕

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude Day:8

Well as you can see what I’m thankful for today. Crafting has really been a stress reliever for me, although people don’t buy them, I still love making bracelets . The first time I tried making jewelry with beads was in the hospital. Yes, when I checked myself in after my last suicide attempt. One of the nurses had a crafting hour, now I was very reluctant to go, but I did and the rest is history. Funny when I made that first bracelet, my family laughed at me and called me crazy. Hmmm, makes me a little sad that they still don’t get it!!! Oh well, can’t dwell on the past or stupid people. So today I’m thankful for beads, and as you can see in the pics, I know longer have my laptop on my desk. My gosh I have no more room, might have to rent some storage space😂😂😂Pics of some of my work soon!!! Have a great night…!

Ms. Fran📿(Bead Queen)

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Building Mastery/Mindfulness

If you are struggling with problems like being overwhelmed, over thinking, or overreacting. Then some of these skills I learned in my session on yesterday can probably help. Our mind can be our worse enemy: how many times have you experienced these things:

  • criticizing yourself, or letting others do it
  • Missing out on what someone said to you, because your mind was some place else, now that person is mad at you
  • You don’t realize a person or situation makes you upset, so you decided to stay, and then you explode with anger when it’s the last straw
  • Noticing at the last-minute that the relationship was very toxic, because you didn’t pay attention to their actions toward you

Being Mindful and Building Mastery can help you cope with these, and other situations before they get worse. Examples of Build Mastery activities in our daily life:

  • Hygiene
  • Doing your dishes
  • Cleaning whatever needs to be cleaned
  • Completing tasks or homework
  • Checking the mail/paying bills
  • Maintaining a certain level of organization

Build Mastery skills also include taking on realistic challenges and working toward your goals like,exercising, developing a hobby, or standing up for yourself.

Also don’t forget to give yourself credit for being mindful of your efforts. We don’t give ourselves enough credit for trying, depression and anxiety can be overwhelming. There may be times the only thing you can do is get out of bed, so congratulate yourself on that.

Now, imagine if there was a skill that would help pay better attention to what you were thinking, feeling, or doing at any moment. Imagine this skill could help you make healthier decisions and better choices that would improve your life. Well this skill defiantly exist and it is called Mindfulness: “the ability to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions in the present’ (McKay, Wood, and Brantley 2007, 89.) This means instead of getting distracted by your thoughts, worries, regrets, and criticisms, you pay attention to what’s happening to you in the moment; so that you can make choices about what to do next. 

I know this may seem hard for some of us who suffer from mental illness to focus, but I really believe this could help. I have been practicing the mindful breathing exercises as well. Hope this helps one of you…..

Ms. Fran

 

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude Day: 6

“Gratitude is wine for the soul. Go on. Get drunk.” -Rumi

Happy Monday and new time, man I love this new time change. As you know I’m in the bed before 6 anyway, so being dark early is right up my alley. lol Well today was a long but productive day, my Monday started off pretty good. I felt rested and got up with no problem at all. Today was the day I take dad to run his errands, and gives him a chance to ride in the car for a bit. Since he has a new girlfriend at his place, they seem to get out a little more together. She’s a nurse, so she is able to help him walk and be careful. Also today was the first day of my new coping skills class, and therapy day. I wasn’t really ready for therapy today, but glad I stayed the whole hour. Which brings me to why I’m thankful today, I’m more than thankful for my therapy sessions. I find so much relief in going, I had something bothering me yesterday and she just brought it out of me. I cried just a little, not sad tears, but tears of ‘yes that’s it’!! I feel like my thoughts are so clear when I’m with her, I mean I feel like she has been knowing me for years. I wonder if we are supposed to be kind of cool with each other? Today she told me something personal about her daughter and I felt like we were best buds. Just wondering if that’s ok? If it’s not, oh well! I couldn’t be more thankful for her. She sees the old fabulous, courageous, pretty, and diva I use to be. She sees me, not just my illness. I mean I feel like my old self, with a new brain when I’m there with her. So once again, who said therapy was bad for ya!? Hope this week is starting off great for you all, chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Trump Describes Worst Mass Killing In Texas History As A Mental Health Problem

So the gun problem is a mental health problem, but you take the insurance away from them so they can’t get meds. Please stop hiding behind mental health now,it’s a fucking gun problem period. I suffer from mental health and the only person I think about killing is myself, Trump pisses me off so much!!! Such a Big Orange Ass😡