Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Who said ‘Therapy’ was a bad word?🤔

Well it wasn’t me!! Had the best therapy session today, I really like her a lot. She hangs on my every word and seems genuinely interested in getting back on the right track with my life. We brought up some of the things that were bothering me, so of course I told her about my son. Guess what?? I didn’t even cry…not one tear. She told me to look on the bright side, it’s only months and not years. Also she said, the judge saw the good parenting job I did. I didn’t think about that, I spent so much time blaming myself. The judge actually said “this young man came from a good home”. So that means he also recognized my parenting, and I didn’t mess up with him. This made me feel so good, all my friends have told me this, but I just couldn’t see it. I just felt so ashamed and bewildered. We also discussed some things I had on my mind about my dad, and she just let me rant!!! Whew! I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder today. She explained that no matter what anyone tells me, I’m a survivor and what was meant to harm me, actually turned out to be good. Wait let me get this straight….a survivor??? I never really saw myself as a survivor. She said “my gosh after everything you have been through”. Hmmm I’m a survivor!!! I think I like that, survivor! I think I’ll put that on my vision board so I can always look up at it. Again who said ‘therapy’ is a bad word?? Seeking help has been really good for me mentally and I’m glad I did it. Well I’m going to end the night with a smile, hope this Monday was good to you all. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran 

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

A week in Review and a Lesson Learned for this Monday!

Good morning all, it’s been a couple of days since I posted. Last week started off super, than by Wednesday I was in complete meltdown. (also was out of meds) Things were being thrown at me from left to right, and I just didn’t have the strength to fight back. I was weak and I let life totally get the best of me last week, I’m still in place in my life that makes me sick. I cried, laid in the bed, didn’t fix my hair, and of course I avoided everyone. I even called my therapist and informed her that I was no longer going to be seeing her. Yes, it got that damn bad! I was sick to my stomach, and didn’t eat anything at all. Little did I know two days without my meds was not a good thing. No one informed me of the side effects that came along with not taking them. So the last part of the week was complete HOT MESS! I didn’t get anything done as usual, all I did was keep asking God to take this illness away from me. I forgot every coping skill I learned in therapy, I was just a damn mess. Then it hit me on Saturday, that I needed to ‘man up’, I needed to get out of bed and stop letting depression win all the time. Every time things don’t go the way I have plan, I crawl back into my shell and stay stuck there. I looked around my office and saw all the progress I have made, and decided that I have to fucking do better. I mean I have my second e-book sitting here ready for publish and I haven’t even released it yet. I have a new life certificate that I earned last week, new items in my store and my grand baby is turning three months old tomorrow. See, there are so many good things I have going on. I just can’t for the life me get my shit together! Oh well I wasted a whole 4 days being depressed, and withdrawn, accomplishing not one damn thing. I’m so mad I could scream. I feel like the world isn’t going to be waiting much longer for me to come around. Lately I’ve been so afraid to step out of my shell, I mean my anxiety is at an all time high right now. I that someone out there can relate to what I’m going through, but please don’t get stuck. Being stuck isn’t fun and it is crippling me. I just feel so helpless sometimes, and very embarrassed by this. Here I am a 40-year-old granny, who can’t get her shit together. This also bothers me, than back in my shell I go. LIfe shouldn’t be this hard, hell it probably isn’t, I just over think the whole damn thing. Well you live and learn, so I better get my ass up and get to adulting. Have a great week, and don’t get stuck. Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Suicide Prevention Week 2017

#throwbackthursday to a time not so long ago when suicide was a common thing on my mind. Constant hospital visits, drinking, and  destructive behavior. But God had more faith in me than I did. All wounds are not visible, most of the time there inside our heads. So He kept me around to share my story, to save at least one person from this tragedy. Help someone today, don’t judge, stop the stigma!! Suicide sees no race, gender, or income status. It can happened to the best of us!!! Seeking help doesn’t make you weak! Taking meds doesn’t make you weak!!! Get the help you need for you and your love ones!!! 

Ms. Fran (suicide survivor)

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Several Ways to a Great Sex Life While in Depression!

For a long time now before writing this book, I have been wondering and researching ways to make my sex life better. Going through depression is hard enough on the brain, but having to come up with different ways to please your spouse is even harder. Should I play nurse tonight, naughty teacher, or the bad slutty girl? Now, I know all this may make you blush, but I was trying to spice up the bedroom for my hubby. Depression is just as hard on your partner/spouse as it is on you. So I have been reading and researching this topic, and here are some ways you can still keep it hot in the bedroom, while in a depressive stat.

Now I not going to tell you which ones I have actually tried, lol! Use your dirty little imaginations……….hmmmm!

  • Try sending your spouse/partner sexy photos while he/she is at work when they least expect it. (I’m usually shy lately about my body, because of the weight gain)
  • Reading books about how to spice up your sex life together (this puts them in the mood, just thinking about how naughty it sounds)
  • Stop in that neighborhood sex store, and browse a bit (play around and ask what they would like to try)
  • Facetime/Phone sex works every time (with my hubby away a lot, this one I might try, if not already! lol)
  • Touch yourself in front of you spouse/partner (let them watch you please yourself)
  • Last but least, talk to each other (tell them what you feel and how you feel, this will eventually turn into pillow talk then foreplay)

Now that I got you to thinking, stay tuned for my new e-book! Coming Soon

Ms. Fran (playing SEX doctor)

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Because Mines Actually Did!!!!

Well just like I was hoping, getting out the house today was absolutely wonderful. I worked really hard today and even manage to do a lot of laughing. My clients are the best, they always make me feel so loved. They don’t treat me like the maid, but more like a really close family member who cleans, lol! I’m totally ok with that, because when I’m going through my episodes my clients really help me. For some reason they can see this vibrant, beautiful, funny, and smart me. How can that be? I don’t feel any of those things on most days, but just glad they see it. That kind of motivated me today, my client ask “when is the new book coming out”, and all I could do was lower my head. So she ask, “what’s wrong”?  Of course I went into my usual story of not having any motivation, and how I just felt like giving up. Now, she wasn’t happy about my decision at all. She sat me down and proceeded to tell me about how long she new me and all the things I went through in the past. I haven’t really thought about how far I have come, depression seems to cloud my mind a lot. I mean she has seen me at my worst years before, and I got right back up on my feet. She saw me lose it all, build a home, take care of my dad, and graduate from college. Yes, I did all those things and each time something stood in my way, but I managed to swerve around it. I don’t know WHY? I feel so stuck now. Why I feel like I can’t get out of this tunnel. It just seems so hard now, feels like the weight of the world is once again back on my shoulders. I guess I’ll eventually get through this as well, just don’t know when. Well I hope you all had an awesome day filled with nothing but positivity and bliss. Chat soon…….

Ms. Fran

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

“I’m Ok” 2 words I thought I was done with…😔

Woke up again from a super crazy 2 hour sleep, went to walk the dog and to my surprise everyone was there. Usually I’m the only one on my late days, but this morning eyes looking puffy from crying, I had to say those 2 words. The 2 words we use when we are totally lying by about how we feel. “I’m ok” I know they saw the sadness in my eyes, and I was only minutes away from a complete meltdown. I wanted to be left alone today, not have to talk to anyone. I just don’t want to keep repeating this lie. No, today I’m not ok, but I don’t have any energy to explain why. Besides I think everyone has heard this story before, so this time I’m just going to stay to myself. I hate having these fucking episodes, it takes so much out of me, and keeps me from doing anything. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my hair is a mess. I’m a freaking MESS! I haven’t seen my therapist in two weeks, she called today and I lied. I just wanted to scream at her, and ask “WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN LADY, I NEEDED YOU!!!😠Of course she was on vacation and that mad me even more upset, you leave and get sun, while I’m home going freaking nuts. Oh well off to my dads, kind of glad he can’t really see to good. I mean not like that, lol! I just don’t have the patience to explain anything, and I absolutely don’t won’t to ruin his day. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran