Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Tuesday was much Better….

Happy Halloween again! I’m super happy this day is coming to an end, I hate to be such a grouch, but them kids drive me crazy. After all the recent break ins around here, opening my door to some kid in a mask today freaks me the hell out! Sorry…so I didn’t pass out any candy, guess that does make me the ‘mean old lady’ in the neighborhood.lol!!! Well yesterday was a hell of a day, but my Tuesday turned out great. I got up this morning with no problems, and went on about my day without any hesitation. Tonight was my Diamonds and Pearls meeting, don’t know if I mentioned that I had join this mentoring group a couple of weeks ago. It’s a mentoring program with a group of ladies who share personal life stories, each of these ladies like me, all have some type of baggage in our lives that we carry around. So I have been attending this group along with my therapy sessions, and my coping skills class. Needless to say, I have been learning so much about myself and learning how to cope with my depression better. These groups are judgement free and I can just be myself. So tonight we are getting ready for our fashion show, it’s so nice to see all the ladies looking forward to being pretty and building each other’s confidence up. I’m super excited about it and can’t wait to get all fabulous. Tonight we also were doing some organizing of our folders, and as I was looking through mines, I found all the topics they were discussing before I came on board. So I’ll leave you all with a couple of quotes, and a quick look into some of our disscussions….gd night and enjoy!!!

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint- and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”- Oprah Winfrey

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.”- Helen Keller

“Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”- Golda Meir

Oh my these quotes give me goosebumps….

Some of our discussion questions are pretty simple, but made me think long and hard about my life and myself. 

  • Where am I going?
  • What does it mean to be a woman?
  • How do I separate my roles from my “true self”? (mother, wife. aunt, boss, employee, student, and friend).
  • Why do I feel so good/bad about myself now?

Think I’ll be doing some journal stuff  this weekend….

Ms. Fran

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Let’s See What Monday and the Week Brings!🤔

Happy Monday…man it really comes fast doesn’t it? I guess a lot of you all are off today and kids out of school. I hate leaving my house on Monday’s 😒but have to take dad out and got a therapy appointment today. I’m kind of excited to see her, need to get some things off my chest. I have to tell her about the news of my son, I will discuss this without crying. Anywho, I’m cleaning houses all this week so that gets me out the house, plus I’m making some money. Also I’m going to be releasing my new website and my new Self Improvement Ebook. I’ve been procrastinating and being lazy, got all this material just lying around on my computer. So I’m getting my butt motivated so I can make some cash for the holidays, plus it makes me feel good when I help others. Well off to get this Monday started! Wishing you all a great week….chat soon!

Ms. Fran 😊

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Because Mines Actually Did!!!!

Well just like I was hoping, getting out the house today was absolutely wonderful. I worked really hard today and even manage to do a lot of laughing. My clients are the best, they always make me feel so loved. They don’t treat me like the maid, but more like a really close family member who cleans, lol! I’m totally ok with that, because when I’m going through my episodes my clients really help me. For some reason they can see this vibrant, beautiful, funny, and smart me. How can that be? I don’t feel any of those things on most days, but just glad they see it. That kind of motivated me today, my client ask “when is the new book coming out”, and all I could do was lower my head. So she ask, “what’s wrong”?  Of course I went into my usual story of not having any motivation, and how I just felt like giving up. Now, she wasn’t happy about my decision at all. She sat me down and proceeded to tell me about how long she new me and all the things I went through in the past. I haven’t really thought about how far I have come, depression seems to cloud my mind a lot. I mean she has seen me at my worst years before, and I got right back up on my feet. She saw me lose it all, build a home, take care of my dad, and graduate from college. Yes, I did all those things and each time something stood in my way, but I managed to swerve around it. I don’t know WHY? I feel so stuck now. Why I feel like I can’t get out of this tunnel. It just seems so hard now, feels like the weight of the world is once again back on my shoulders. I guess I’ll eventually get through this as well, just don’t know when. Well I hope you all had an awesome day filled with nothing but positivity and bliss. Chat soon…….

Ms. Fran

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I’m Falling Apart…literally🤕

So after being told I may have breast cancer, fibrosis, and arthritis. I went one more time to get a 5th opinion, and they did all kinds of heart stuff. I’m like NO! It’s under my breast and the pain is unbearable dude!!!! After he saw I was serious and mad, they put me in this cool new CT scan machine and injected me with some fluid that makes you feel like you have to pee. It ran real hot through my body, which felt made me fill a little freaky, lol! Oh well the diagnosis was a fractured rib..🙄yes don’t ask how I do it, because I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I have been in pain for several weeks and finally somebody told me. Now I’m going to take it easy and rest my little body! Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Yay!

Good Saturday all, I’m up and excited that today I finally get to share my news with you all. Yesterday was a complete diaster, but I remained calm and prepared myself for today. So you all know that I have been spreading the word about mental health in the black community and I wanted to take my word further. I have designed an app in the Apple store so they you will have my blog and resoures on the go! Yes, no more waiting for my email or if you just hate recieving so many notifications. Now you can download my app and share it with any family, friend, co-worker, or spouse. When you don’t no what to say, BAM, just show they my app. Sorry I don’t have it in the Google store, it will be there next week. App name : Olivia,Blackgirldown

Also I have decided to launch some homemade organic products, that will help ease your mind and soul on the go! I have been enjoying playing with the essential oils, and since they work for me I wanted to share. So please feel free to head over to http://alllathereduphomemade.weebly.com 

I couldn’t be more happy about how far I have come, please head over and like me on all of my social media pages as well!

https://www.instagram.com/blackgirldown/

 

 

 

 

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Didn’t Celebrate the 4th and it’s ok!

Good morning all, I’m up and ready to get some things done. I have all sorts of new things in the works and while I have the motivation I’m going to keep it moving. So hoping the 4th was good for you all, mines was down right boring. Now, let me explain….last year this time and a couple of months ago I was in a bad place. I was super jealous and envious of my social media timelines, seeing what everyone was doing, the parties/cookouts, the vacations, or just hanging with family. It made me really sad and I couldn’t for the life of me understand “why” couldn’t that be me? See depression and anxiety plays tricks on your mind. You want to do all those things in your brain, but your body can’t move. So I would just cry and pull the covers over my head, but not this year. This year I was ok without celebrating the 4th, no bbq, no friends, no neighbors, just me and the hubby. He spent most of the day getting his truck ready, and I was experimenting in my new laboratory (kithchen) lol! Plus I’m still fighting this summer cold I have had for going on 2 weeks, so staying in was all I wanted to do. But guess what??? I wasn’t sad! I wasn’t jealous! I wasn’t feeling guilty! I felt like a damn grown up. See I have lost so much time dealing with my depression, that I have to get on the ball and make up those years this disease took from me. Meaning I have to work my ass off, to build my account back up like it use to be, I have to continue therapy, this will give me the courage to be out in the world again. And if that means not vacationing, or partying the rest of the year then I’m ok with that.  I want to travel to places in the future that I haven’t been, maybe even come visit some of you overseas, lol! I want to have no worries when I’m vacationing. I want to be carefree and wild!! So yesterday was a good day for me, and I feel really good about it. I know that this is the meds talking, but I’m ok with that. Finally my brain isn’t stuck in gloom and doom mode. Small steps people…so again hope the 4th was good to you all, I have some work to get done. I promise to reveal very shortly….chat soon!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I’m On A Roll!!!

So I took some of my on advice today, and I must say I feel good. I was a little upset this morning, did a little crying, but I got my ass up and continued my day. I explained to my son that everything is in God’s hands, nothing else we can do. We have to continue praying and letting go. But I have to admit, today was very hard and I felt myself running back down my dark hole. So I decided to continue finishing up some projects and kept myself busy. I also have to admit that, I just don’t have all the answers for my son. I mean what do you do in this situation? I thought my days of worrying about him was over, I guess not! Oh well I’m just going to keep reading and throwing myself into work. Yes, my house cleaning business is starting to pick back up! Everyone is pretty happy that I’m back in the cleaning game, so it’s a busy rest of the week. Hope you all felt pretty optimistic today, remember we have to force ourselves to see the good even in a bad day. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran