Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Feeling a bit iffy today….

It’s Saturday afternoon, I’m just waking up for the 2nd time today. Didn’t sleep because I was mentally tired, but because I did a little partying last night. 😊All that dancing 💃 did my mind some good, but my body is a damn wreck😂 I absolutely had the best damn time. So I get up and my mind just wanders off into the other place, the place I hate it going. I don’t know if it’s because I had some down time, or if having fun made me feel guilty about something. But What????? I’ve been feeling really good lately. My mind is clear, my work life is good, so what could it be? Well I’m not going to dwell on this to long, don’t want to get stuck in that crazy place in my brain. I feel so free right now and really love the smile I have on my face. But behind this smile there are really a thousand feelings going. There I go overthinking again..ugh!!! Hope you all are having a great weekend so far. Chat soon…

Ms. Fran

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I’m Truly Tired…but for once it’s not Mentally 👏🏽

Gd evening all, literally this little pic actually shows where I’m at physically. My battery is almost on low. This has been a long but pretty good week. Now, I know it’s not over because tomorrow is Friday the 13th and any damn thing can happen. Yes, as you know I’m a little superstitious😂so tomorrow I’m going to need the universe to fall in line for me. Regardless I’m just happy to be tired from working and not from being mentally drained. My mine is pretty clear, I’ve been studying my coping skills and reading my self help books. I’m still just a little afraid that it’s all to good to be true, but not going to jinx my damn self. So I’m putting my unicorn 🦄 in my pocket tomorrow for a little luck. 😊 After all, unicorns are mention in the Bible as well…hmm, but you didn’t know that.🤔So if God is mentioning them, it must mean something.😊 Overall I feel pretty good, so I’m going to sit back and watch my Eagles play tonight, while sipping a nice cold beer. Have a good night….chat soon!! I’m going to leave you all some of the unicorn scriptures:

Numbers 23:22 “God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.”

Psalms 92:10 “But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of a unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.”

Job 39:9 “Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?

Job 39:10 “Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valley after thee?”

All these were found in the King Jame Version


Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Thanks New Followers

Greetings and many thanks to all my new followers!! Thanks for finding my blog life amusing, I’m not the best writer, just writing from my heart at times!! It’s just my way of coping with depression, anxiety, and hardships. Hoping that I’m saying something that helps at least one of you! Thanks again!

Ms.Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Tuesday Morning Thoughts!!!

Well I’m suppose to be working this morning, but my client forgot to leave the key so here I am. Here I am, sitting at my computer a little upset with myself. Upset because I don’t have a backup plan when things like this come up. Financially I can’t afford to stay home everyday, and I’m mad because I don’t have much saved up to do so. So of course, instead of feeling positive today, I feel like a failure. How did I get to this point, I use to be able to manage my funds so well. Good grief…I can’t when for losing sometimes, but I’m just going to be grateful I have a roof over my head and the lights are on. I just know now it’s really time to make some drastic changes in my life, to be able to afford to stay home. I love working for myself, but I think I may have to take a second job just to get myself back together. Hopefully when I finally get this projects done, money will roll in. I know that I will not be perfect, but I know I will get better. Life has thrown all sorts of things at me, and I have dodged most of it. Oh well I guess I’ll get some things done around the house, decorating the outside for fall. I love this time of the year, the leaves are changing and the mornings are cooler. The smell of pumpkin spice in the air, and leaving the windows open at night. So off I go, have a Terrific Tuesday…chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

OH MONDAY!

Oh Monday. I could complain about you being here so soon again, but I won’t! I will make today a productive  one. I won’t think of all the negative things that popped into my head as I started writing this post. Just hoping this week is great and I can finally get some of my projects off the ground. So let me just focus on what I’m grateful for, I’m grateful for God waking me up again this morning. He has more faith in me than I do myself. When I continue to dwell in self-doubt, He’s always right there rooting for me. I’m grateful for my family, and thank God for them. I’m grateful for the little I have, because so many others have lost so much. I’m grateful for Monday, even when I dread getting out the bed in the mornings. So today I choose to be grateful, because I’m learning God doesn’t increase you if you’re not happy where you are. I will admit, I’m having trouble just mediocre and feel like I’m destined for greatness. I guess I just have to wait until the universe steers my way. I believe if I continue to see Monday as some traumatic life experience, I will never be able to get my life together. And, it turns gratitude makes your life happier and healthier. Oh Monday how grateful I am to see you….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Aww Sunday!

Happy Sunday all, wow it’s been a busy weekend and I’m a little exhausted. Finally had my yard sale, and it went pretty well. My Clemson Tigers played their first home game on yesterday, I’m super excited it’s football season again. The air seems a little cooler and I’m about ready for those leaves to change. I plan on spending this Sunday trying to get myself packed for my Texas trip. It’s kind of bitter-sweet, because of the real reason I’m going out there. I know this is week is going to be hard on all of us, but I’m praying to God it turns out for the good. With that being said, look on the bright side, I get to see my cute little grand baby for 5 days straight. I’m going to love on him the entire time, he will be begging to come to South Carolina with his Gigi, lol! So I’m just going to keep thinking positive and enjoy my stay. Besides I needed a little time away from here, time to clear my head for a bit.  So enjoy your Sunday and I’ll chat soon……

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

And That’s Not a Bad Thing!

Greetings bloggers, since I have decided to steer my energy away from my depressed self. I have a really had a good couple of days, I met with my therapist and I go back again today. So this week is shaping up to be pretty good. With that being said, since I have been focusing lately, I have decided that there is still so much to learn. I’m still learning about myself, family, and my spiritual life. Yesterday, I did a little revamping to my social media. I’ve decided I will know longer post my blog, online store, or quotes on my personal FB page. On that page I learned that most of the people on that page are lookers, but not supporters. I have had tons of people who order from my online stores, but would never actually praise me on their page. Behind the scenes they are totally happy, or at least that’s what they say. So I have decided to just leave those people on that page, in order for me to grow my tribe, I need to be around like-minded people. People that support not just by buying something, but with encouraging words. I’m also learning that, if they don’t constantly praise me that’s ok. I’m my own cheerleader and I don’t have to wait around for people to appreciate me. I’m learning that it feels so much better to look ahead than backwards. I spend so much time criticizing myself for I what I didn’t do, then praising the new things I have accomplished. So yes I’m still learning and that’s ok! I’m learning that when God said ‘No’, that doesn’t mean He doesn’t care. I’m also learning that it’s a lot easier to waste time than it is to find time. I spent all that time sleeping or staring at the TV getting nothing done, this week I decided to forgo the naps and invest some time in me. I’m learning that at the age 40 my best years are still to come. I always think I’m getting to old to start over. I’m learning that people nomatter what will always have shit to say, hell I could be on the Forbes list and they would complain. I’m learning that there is more to me than just my depressed self. I’m learning that I need God more and more each day. Even with the little stuff, like just asking for strength to get through the day. I’m learning that you’re opinion of me doesn’t fucking matter, hell I like me and that’s all that counts. LOL Well you all get the picture, I’m still learning and that’s ok!!! Chat soon…. follow my new FB page!

www.facebook.com/olivia.shepherd.blackgirldown.me

Ms. Fran

 

 

Ms. Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Yes….but!!!

Well me and WordPress are at it again, my blog seems to be acting up again and it’s making me sad. I had so much good content over the last couple of days and no of it posted to the blog. So I’m trying to think happy, but this little mess up is putting me in a bad ass mood. Anyway I am feeling a bit joyful today, still got some pain I’m dealing with. My client told me today it could be my gall bladder. *blank stare*

I’m in tons of pain, but I am making it through the day very well. Preseason Football is upon us and I couldn’t be more happy. Got to see my former QB from Clemson play an amazing game as a Texan and tonight my Eagles and the Green Bay play tonight. So I guess you can see I’m very happy today, happy all around. I have been mediating on positive things and learning to stay away from the negative stuff that gets me in a funk. Well I’m off to see what the people at WordPress are going to do about my blog. Hoping you all are having an awesome Thursday, chat soon..

Ms.Fran

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

And So This Happened…..

Wow, I’m finally back up and running after so many technical difficulties. So last week my brain was fried for a bit, instead of putting the frozen sweet peas for my dog in microwave….I ended up pressing 1 minute with my Iphone in the microwave. Yes…don’t ask? My phone was completely cooked:( I was without a phone for 2 long days, it like to kill me. Thank God for insurance, I was sent a new one on Saturday past. Then, apparently my brand new computer and WordPress decided it didn’t want to work anymore. So no post, I was sending them but nothing was being posted. Ugggggh what a long week…so this week is starting off to be ok. I was in a really good mood today, despite some little sneaky thoughts that tried to creep in. Life is full of surprises, but I’m now in a better position to handle what it throws at me. I no longer let it consume my thoughts like it use to, it happens I feel about it, then keep it moving. Just no longer want to hang around in darkville anymore. Hope today was well for you all, chat soon…

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Sunday Thoughts!

Good morning, I sit here at my computer in so much pain. Pain in my heart, brain and body. I can’t understand how I got to this place. I’m no longer the happy, cheeerful, funny lady. This diease has a mind of it’s own. I spent all day in bed yesterday only getting up to walk the dog. I lay down staring at the cieling, imaging another life other than this one. I can’t explain my emotions, feeling trapped in this weak body. Last week was really difficult for me, as I try to encourage others I fail to take my on advice. Then Friday night came, and I drank more than I should have. I haven’t learn yet how to cope with day to day life. The meds seem to work okay, I haven’t had any thoughts of harming myself. I guess a good thing right??? I can’t help but think, WHY ME???? I let a whole Saturday go by without stepping outside to enjoy the sun. My room is dark like some of my thoughts. I feel like a vampire. No matter how hard I try I can’t seem to shake this crazy feeling running through my mind. I have no strength or motivation to do anything, I feel stuck. I can’t wait for the day that I feel better. I believe there is more for me than this. I know that this disease doesn’t define me. I’m trying, I really am. I’m sorry my family doesn’t understand how the smallest things can leave me feeling terrified, overwhelmed and out of control. I feel alone, like no one truly understands how I feel. I feel like a burden, a constant worry for my friends and family. I promise I hear the, “you will be fine”, or “we are for you”. Hearing those things makes me feel good for a little while, then after that I go back into that crazy world of self-doubt. I KNOW I’m trying, and desperately want to be well, brave and strong. Someday it will be a reality, until then I will be still and wait for this to pass.

Ms. Fran (Depressive Diva)