Improve Your Mental Health!

Improving your mental health is vital to your recovery and I of all people know that all to well. Last year around this time I was in a bad place, I was trapped deep in a dark black hole. I never thought I would ever see the light of day. Boy…..what a difference a year makes! I still have my days, but now I have better ways to cope with my depression. I go out and get things done now! I have been so busy helping others that I have forgotten about my own depression. I know how it feels to be alone and scared without anyone to talk too. I really thought life was over for me, now here I stand brave and strong. I’m no longer ashamed of my illness and could care less who doesn’t understand it. We all have our battles to fight, I’m wishing you all the best! Things will not better overnight but they will…..

Ms. Fran

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Was I Really This Addicited??

addiction

Gd Saturday all, hope you are enjoying this day. I’m pretty lazy today, but I have lots of stuff I need to get done. Last night was a success, I enjoyed having a sober night out with my girls. Who knew that life could be just as fun without alcohol? Speaking of that, I was getting ready for my event last night and changing my wig, lol! I went with the short look, since I wanted to be kind of sassy. Anyway, as I was going through my hair box, (place where I keep all my hair) I ran across these mini bottles that I hid. I was shock when I found them. Was I really this addicted to alcohol? Did I need it so bad that I had to hide it? All the pain I caused from my use came rushing back to me. The lying, the screaming, the black outs! This is so embarrassing and sad; I really didn’t know I was addicted or did I? I don’t think I really wanted to admit it! Mini bottles stashed all over the place, where no one could see. I was becoming so depended on alcohol, and I didn’t see it. Others saw it, but not me!  This is not a life I wanted to live, I want to have fun without drinking so damn much. I appreciated my friends who are drinking water and sweet tea when I’m around. It’s been really hard not to think of drinking, especially when I’m feeling so sad thinking about my son. I just didn’t see myself as an alcoholic, hell I saw my whole family drink when I was small. Every one of the adults seemed fine, the weekend came they would drink and be sober on Monday. What’s the problem? I didn’t start drinking until I was 24 years old, and at that time it was pretty much weekend fun. I’d go to work all week, but would unwind on Saturday. Now when I look back, it wasn’t as sociable as I thought it was. Life began to get harder and alcohol was easier to get. I drank to feel good, then it was to numb the pain after being married to an ass. Drinking just didn’t seem so bad, then I just started to drink because it took all the pain away and I didn’t have to think of my problems. After that, my alcoholism just went downhill from there. Alcohol became food, I drank the first thing in the morning and late at night. How come I didn’t see this before, how did I let myself get so far gone? I’m so ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn’t manage my life without it. Stay tuned….

 

Ms. Fran                                                    pic of me

(The hair I went with)

 

 

 

Self Improvement and Why it’s Important

Happy Tuesday all, so as you know if your reading my blog,(if not I’m going to need you to subscribe) NOW!! LOL I have been on this road to recovery and trying all sorts of things to keep me from falling back into that hole. In order to start this process I gave up drinking, getting angry, and self-doubt. Yes!!! All these things can be hard, but you have to give the shit a try. We all want to improve and become better people, and we all decide that the first of year is when we are going to start….then we fall off!! By March we have found a hundred excuses why we just can’t get it together. I have to admit this was me ust last year, but I’m determined to see this year through and become healthier mentally and physically. So again if you have not subscribe to my blog so you can read my updates….then I suggest you subscribe NOW!!! I have developed an obsessive passion for self-improvement and my personal growth. So this week I’ll be blogging about some of the self improvement tactics I intend to take. As I stated in the beginning, I have completely given up alcohol and  stop letting my anger get out of control. Baby steps people…baby steps! So please feel free to comment on what you will do this week, maybe I can get some pointers from all of you out there….so here’s to a week of self improvement!!!

Ms. Fran

Day: 8 A Mom is Sentence Too

8 days down, hundreds to go! Spoke with him today, he finally moved to his new room with the black guys. Apparently in that prison camp you have to stick with your own 🙄Anyway, he sounded a little more upbeat today! He finds out tomorrow when his release date will be, I hope it’s sooner rather than later. I faced time my sweet grand baby today, who is looking more like him everyday. My sons girlfriend said, the baby and his sister have been acting kind of funny. The little girl is acting out, using the restroom in corners and peeing on her toys. I think she was so use to having a male figure around and is trying to express her little feelings. I know she misses him just like we do. My son is a really good dude who made a really bad decision, but you live and you learn. So I’m off to bed, feeling pretty good tonight about him. I really believe God has his arms around him! Also did I mention I’ve been sober for 8 whole days😃🙌🏾! Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran

Building Confidence While In a Depressive State!

Building confidence can be pretty hard on its on, but try having a depressed mind all the time. Today as I was preparing the things I need to roll out my BIG news on Friday, I had to step back and take a look around. Is this me? Am I singing? Yes, it’s me! The half new me, for once today I had the confidence to look at myself and my projects and say, “damn girl, this shit cute”. LOL I look in the mirror and told myself that, “I am good enough”, “I will get my life back on track”! Wow and I actually believe it too. I spent so many months in a dark hole, the only thing I could see it’s darkness. Nowww…I can see some light at the end of that hole. I feel like I really could see things improving, without my other part of the brain taking over. So here’s to the old me who didn’t think I would ever see the day, the day that some confidence would come creeping back into my soul. Here’s to the things I write on my vision board to help me slowly get back to normal. Here’s to a really fabulous woman who got knocked down, but got up out that bed and sought the help I needed to put me back on the right track! Although my journey isn’t over and please believe I’m so not cured, I like to think of it like a really really long cold. I just keep taking the meds until it’s all gone, lol! So I will get back to my secret projects…chat soon loves!!!

Ms. Fran

Sinking like a Ship – Invisible Illness – Medium

https://medium.com/invisible-illness/sinking-like-a-ship-bef72ef98188#.dcjffe1fb

What a great article, depression effects everyone differently! No, just because I’m on a step of recovery doesn’t mean I’m not sick anymore! We all have different ways of healing and I plan on doing it my way! Lately it’s been therapeutic to read that I’m not alone in this!!

Ms. Fran