Well it has hit me!!☹️🎄

Yes I do…all I have done this morning is cry! Last night I got some troubling news from my son, who only has 24 days to go and it just breaks my hurt. It wasn’t anything bad, I just think this girl and her family trying to use him. (more on that later) I just keep walking around the house, listening to Christmas music and wishing my boy was home. I just want to spend a little more time with him before he goes off . I could fly there again, but the last time was not good(more on that too). I want him home, everybody keeps telling me I have to let him live his life. How can I just let go? My only son is going to jail, and I’m sorry I feel horrible today. All I want to do is drink and stay in bed. I had plan on going out today, but I can’t even bring myself to eat. It’s getting harder and harder as the days go by so swiftly. I look into his room and cry, cry and wonder what went wrong? I really don’t want to fall back into my hole, but I just can’t cope right now. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

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Is It Possible to Feel Sad and Happy at Once🤔

So it’s raining out and I’m feeling a little bit sad, but happy! Happy I’m going out with friends tonight for dinner, nothing fancy just enjoying each other. I really need this company today, because I’m about to fall apart. Well have the date of when my grand baby will be here, although I’m totally excited, I’m also so sad. I had hope to be in better position financially, hell and mentally. I just was hoping to be this fabulous, rich, powerful woman by now. I hate my grandson has to come into this world, looking at the failure I’ve become. He deserves so much more, he also doesn’t need to have his fathers fate being handle by some judge. I’m just a mess over this!!! But then I’m sooo happy, because I can’t wait to see his cute little face staring up at me. So I ask again can you be happy and sad at the same time????? Chat soon!!!

Ms. Fran

Feeling A Bit Iffy Today!

Good Tuesday morning, woke up today feeling a bit iffy. Yesterday I didn’t do anything because I felt like crap, don’t know if it’s the meds or what. I’m a little nauseous and weary. I took my meds this morning, but not before guilt, sadness, and worthlessness sneaked in. I said my prayers to shake it off, but I just can’t today maybe later. I’m super exhausted, haven’t been able to sleep since hubby has been home for sooo long. I’m so use to sleeping alone, when he comes home it creates havoc on my sleep life. Also I haven’t been taking my sleeping meds, because someone broke into my son’s car on Friday morning past. That just pisses me off, we work so hard for the shit we have and some low life bum comes and takes things. So we all have been pulling watching out the window duty to catch these little lowlife. They seem to hit early in the morning before everyone is up. God I hope the police catches them before we do, lol! Anyway, I forgot to mention I have decided to quit my job at the school. I’m not mentally stable enough to work with kids, and they deserve someone who is attentive to their little needs. So now I’m stuck looking for a job but don’t know what I want to do. I think I’m just going to start my cleaning business back up, this way I can continue to be my own boss on my own time. Hopefully the cleaning world will welcome me back, hell I’m the best cleaner in town. This now means until things pick back up for me I’m going to be short paying my share of the bills. I wonder how hubby will react to this? He seems to be ok, but I don’t trust his flip-flopping ass one bit. So now my mind is racing….trying to come up with some sort of hustle to actually look like I’m doing something. I feel bad because once again this year he has to pull my weight, I’m now in rage. I start thinking why my dad had to have that damn stroke? Why didn’t I do what I needed to do with the money I had? I hate rethinking old stuff, but it is all coming up all at one damn time. I’m going to continue on my path of believing things will work out, not going to put myself down to bad. Better days are coming…..chat soon!!!!

Ms. Fran

Charlie Brown’s Existential Crisis Saved My Life – The Coffeelicious

https://thecoffeelicious.com/charlie-browns-existential-crisis-saved-my-life-a9053a90d732

What a great read, and a perfect way to sum up what a child having anxiety may understand. I wonder if I was this way as a child, I always felt some type of way but couldn’t explain it. Of course know adult in my life, wouldn’t dare discuss it! I enjoyed this article!

Ms. Fran

So I feel like drinking!!!

Wasn’t going to but I am, hell tonight has really gotten to me! No house in the morning and no rippping and running with dad!! I have been taken on this burden for 2 years going into the 3rd. And I kept thinking God would see all I have done, but He doesn’t so it’s me, music and my mind!!! I’ll let you know the outcome when I come through in the morning!! Sleep well!!!!

In a Funk Today!!!😔

Woke up feeling blue, wait I didn’t even go back to sleep!!! Just can’t get it together today!!! Not feeling any motivation at all, I just want to sleep 😴!!! Made it over to dads and he is a bit talkative today, and I’m so not in the mood. Feeing sad today and confused, just wish God could tell me where I stand and how I will get there. These last two years have been nothing but craziness!! Well I hope all of you have a great Wednesday!!! Chat soon!!

Ms. Fran 

Sunday Morning! 

Good morning all, I’m up after a another sleepless night. Just trying to remain calm and remain in  faith. As a mom you want to protect your child from everything and I felt like I didn’t do a good job! So much guilt running through my mind right now, just praying things will work out. Over at dad’s this morning, he seems to be in a good mood. I don’t dare tell him what’s going on with his grandson. This would just break his heart. Oh well hoping you all have bless Sunday. Chat soon!

Ms. Fran 😄

I’m so lost!

I’m so lost and can’t function without knowing what’s going on. He seems well but I know he’s just trying to be tough! Hell he’s in a jail in El Paso and he said him and the guy are the only blacks back there. I’m just praying and hoping things will work out. My stomach hurts, don’t want to eat and I just want this weekend to be over. I’m mad as hell, I just want to fly there and knock some sense into his fool head. I know the justice system is really not on the side of our black young men. Hoping and praying to God that he isn’t made an example of. Going to try and rest!! 

Ms. Fran 😢

Feeling Blah! 😔

Good morning bloggers, I’m feeling just like the pic saids. I’m glad the Big Guy woke me up this morning, but I’m feeling some type of way. I feel nervous, anxious, and drained emotionally. I know I’m a little tired from yesterday, but this feeling is different. My heart is racing, and I feel weak. Other than that I’m in a doing ok!! Got some cleaning to knock and then helping dad! So a pretty pack day today. Wishing you all a wonderful day! Chat soon!

Ms. Fran ☺