Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Who said ‘Therapy’ was a bad word?🤔

Well it wasn’t me!! Had the best therapy session today, I really like her a lot. She hangs on my every word and seems genuinely interested in getting back on the right track with my life. We brought up some of the things that were bothering me, so of course I told her about my son. Guess what?? I didn’t even cry…not one tear. She told me to look on the bright side, it’s only months and not years. Also she said, the judge saw the good parenting job I did. I didn’t think about that, I spent so much time blaming myself. The judge actually said “this young man came from a good home”. So that means he also recognized my parenting, and I didn’t mess up with him. This made me feel so good, all my friends have told me this, but I just couldn’t see it. I just felt so ashamed and bewildered. We also discussed some things I had on my mind about my dad, and she just let me rant!!! Whew! I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder today. She explained that no matter what anyone tells me, I’m a survivor and what was meant to harm me, actually turned out to be good. Wait let me get this straight….a survivor??? I never really saw myself as a survivor. She said “my gosh after everything you have been through”. Hmmm I’m a survivor!!! I think I like that, survivor! I think I’ll put that on my vision board so I can always look up at it. Again who said ‘therapy’ is a bad word?? Seeking help has been really good for me mentally and I’m glad I did it. Well I’m going to end the night with a smile, hope this Monday was good to you all. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran 

Advertisements
Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

“I’m Ok” 2 words I thought I was done with…😔

Woke up again from a super crazy 2 hour sleep, went to walk the dog and to my surprise everyone was there. Usually I’m the only one on my late days, but this morning eyes looking puffy from crying, I had to say those 2 words. The 2 words we use when we are totally lying by about how we feel. “I’m ok” I know they saw the sadness in my eyes, and I was only minutes away from a complete meltdown. I wanted to be left alone today, not have to talk to anyone. I just don’t want to keep repeating this lie. No, today I’m not ok, but I don’t have any energy to explain why. Besides I think everyone has heard this story before, so this time I’m just going to stay to myself. I hate having these fucking episodes, it takes so much out of me, and keeps me from doing anything. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my hair is a mess. I’m a freaking MESS! I haven’t seen my therapist in two weeks, she called today and I lied. I just wanted to scream at her, and ask “WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN LADY, I NEEDED YOU!!!😠Of course she was on vacation and that mad me even more upset, you leave and get sun, while I’m home going freaking nuts. Oh well off to my dads, kind of glad he can’t really see to good. I mean not like that, lol! I just don’t have the patience to explain anything, and I absolutely don’t won’t to ruin his day. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Not Much Sex….while in a Depressive State!

Well lately you all have read me going on about my new ebook coming soon, Sex and Depression. This topic hits home for me, and I wanted to see if others out there in the universe can relate. We so often talk about how depression makes us feel mentally, but what about physically? What does it mean for him/her to be in the mood but you’re not.! Sex is very important in every relationship, but what do you do when the only energy you had was wasted on trying to get out of bed that morning. You don’t feel like showering, much less being kissed on. No foreplay, because that just adds extra time to what will seem like eternity…in reality it only last about 5 minutes, LOL! I’m laughing to keep my spirits up, but this makes me feel like a bad wife sometimes. I have always been very sexual, but lately the thought of it makes me good and tired. Don’t know if I’m alone here, but it needs to be discussed. As you already know, sexual desires originate in the human brain. The sexual organs would depend on the chemicals that are being produced within the human brain. In fact, these chemicals are responsible for producing libido, and introducing changes to the blood flow, which are need for sexual activities. When a person is affected with depression, these brain chemicals would be disrupted. I’m no sex doctor, but started doing research on this topic to get advice for myself. I learned a lot and plan on sharing this with you in the new ebook, coming soon!!

Ms. Fran (No Sex Doctor)

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Good Monday To You All!

Happy Monday bloggers, feeling a lot better today than I have all weekend. This chronic pain had me in the bed all weekend long. Just couldn’t get anything done, because my body felt like a truck hit me. I did manage to catch up on some TV time, and I did a little writing for a new project I’m releasing soon. Hope it was a good weekend for you all, the weather here is beautiful not to hot. I’ve been in a pretty good mood today, thanking God I survived that pain this weekend. So what’s going on with you all? Me? Well I have tons of new items that have arrived in my online store, I have been invited to do a live chat on mental health in the black community, and I started a new diet. Whoo I’m exhausted just typing all the things I got going on this week. Out of everything, I think the diet is going to be the death of me, lol! I love food a lot, and I can’t live a part from it, LOL!! I just decided to do a little detox from all the bad foods I’ve put in my body over the last couple of weeks. Please Pray For Me!!! Therapy session last week was great, she is moving me to a coping skills class, and I have to attend AA meetings. I was a little bummed about that, because I will have to admit that alcohol has become a problem. Don’t think I was there yet, but I know I need to get the help if I plan on healing. Well with that being said, I’m off to run some errands since I’m off today. I won’t let Monday get me down, I’m planning on sparkling all over the day! Have a great Monday…chat soon! 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Ran Out Of Steam 😞

Well I knew the day would come, and I was dreading it. I’ve been on this emotional high, then I came crashing down like some street drug. I ran out steam, confidence, and hope! Yesterday was not a good day at all, my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t believe it, I was back to thinking things were not going to work. So I just laid my ass down after a wild morning, I just was physically and mentally exhausted. I haven’t felt this way in a while, and it scared me. Could I be falling back down that dark tunnel? Lord I hope not, but I know that I’m a long way from being cured. Oh well I see my therapist today and I plan on talking this out with her. Until then I’m going to get my butt up and start this day. Wishing you all a great Thursday…chat soon!!

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Tuesday Motivation 🤗

Well I’ve heard this quote several times in my dark moments, but never believed it was true! Man….what a difference a month makes!!  I do believe life is tough and damn right so am I. I was in a bad place, couldn’t see my way through but here I stand after all that. I still have my moments, but I believe it’s how you react to the moments that matters. So when life gets tough, stay the course because it will be over soon. I don’t know the hour or day, just don’t give up!!! Have a Terrific Tuesday and find the good in today, big or small!!! Chat soon…..

Ms. Fran😊💕

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Today I Made Myself Proud!

Well I did it, I got out of my dark tunnel and stepped out on faith. I was a bit nervous because this was a long time coming, but I did it. I set my mind up to do it and I did. This may seem a little silly to others, but not to me. I was in a dark tunnel for so long, I didn’t know what day looked like. My house was dark, my life was dark, and my mind was too. Now, I can see some progress in myself . Therapy and my medicines have been a big help, I’m able to focus  without worrying about the ‘what if’s’. Today I made myself proud, I’m just as happy as can be. Its been a long time coming, with my continued therapy and coping classes, I should be a new me soon. I’m in no rush, just want to enjoy what it feels like for once to be in the life of the living again…..chat soon.

Ms. Fran

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Wow what a Hell of a week😊💕🍷🎉

First of let me start off with cute pics of my grandson, yes I’m going to be that Gigi😂I had the pleasure of having him and my sons girlfriend spend the week with me. So if you notice I was missing this sweet lil guy is why! My son, girlfriend, and her mom was here and we had blast. All night partying, talking, laughing, and drinking 🙃I was in granny heaven with all the love surrounding me. Just think a couple of months ago I checked myself into the hospital because I wanted to end it all. Glad I came to my senses when I did and sought out help. My son seems really happy, the baby is absolutely beautiful, and their family has accepted all of us. So a whole week of  love from both sides of Kayden’s family. This was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Well then I got the bad news that my son would be moving back to Texas.😞 Yes, I’m so heartbroken because I kind of got use to him being around again. I enjoyed cooking for him and the talks we have. I know he isn’t my little boy anymore, and he showed me just how much of a man he was. He was up when baby got up, changed diapers,(even the poopy ones), fed him, and just really helped out a lot. I offered my time, but he was having none of that. Now this isn’t how I expected his life to turn out, but it did! I know he has taken the things I’ve taught him and applied them to his life. I’m very proud of him, and wish the best for his whole new little family. 

So then today happens, well kind of all week, but I was distracted with all the company. The bad, negative thoughts in my head. No, not the suicidal ones, just the self-doubt, guilt, and worthless ones. I know I missed a couple of days on my meds, because didn’t I want to mix with drinks. These thoughts just been pushing to get inside my head all week, and this morning they did. I woke up with no motivation, and self-doubt. Still trying to wrap my head around this damn disease. How long will I continue to feel this way? Does it get better? I mean it’s a damn pain in the ass to feel this way. After all that excitement, I found myself going to bed at 5pm on a Friday night. Only to sleep half the day today! I have missed two therapy appointments and she has been calling like crazy. She probably thinks I’ve given up on therapy. I’ll call and explain my busy schedule. Anywho, just wanted to share with you all. Everything has been perfect this week and I can’t wait to see my little man again.😍Hoping you all were surviving without my posts, lol! Well it’s time to get back to normal, whatever the hell that is??? Chat soon….

Ms. Fran