Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Love Therapy Day😊👍🏾

Who said ‘therapy’ was a bad word??? Ok I’m asking that question again, because this has been the best thing that has happened for me. My therapist is super understanding and feels like an old friend, she constantly shares things with me that makes me feel so comfortable. I explained to her after group therapy, that I was having a rough morning. I explained to her how I was starting to feel some type of way about my son. She totally understood and revealed to me that she has a brother in jail right now. I was surprised, see you think just because they are therapist, they don’t have the same problems you do. She explained that it’s ok to have my feelings, because he is my only son. I still see him as the little boy I raised, that’s when she told me, he’s going to be find and my life can go on. Her brother is still locked up after 10 years and she said her mom is doing fine. There will be hard days she said, but I just have to keep praying and keep myself busy. So I left there today feeling so much better, I know it’s going to be hard. I’m just so glad I’m in better place now to be able to handle the hard stuff. She promised to be there for me just like my friends, I feel much better tonight!!! Hope Monday was awesome for you all, chat soon….

Ms. Fran😊

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Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Building Mastery/Mindfulness

If you are struggling with problems like being overwhelmed, over thinking, or overreacting. Then some of these skills I learned in my session on yesterday can probably help. Our mind can be our worse enemy: how many times have you experienced these things:

  • criticizing yourself, or letting others do it
  • Missing out on what someone said to you, because your mind was some place else, now that person is mad at you
  • You don’t realize a person or situation makes you upset, so you decided to stay, and then you explode with anger when it’s the last straw
  • Noticing at the last-minute that the relationship was very toxic, because you didn’t pay attention to their actions toward you

Being Mindful and Building Mastery can help you cope with these, and other situations before they get worse. Examples of Build Mastery activities in our daily life:

  • Hygiene
  • Doing your dishes
  • Cleaning whatever needs to be cleaned
  • Completing tasks or homework
  • Checking the mail/paying bills
  • Maintaining a certain level of organization

Build Mastery skills also include taking on realistic challenges and working toward your goals like,exercising, developing a hobby, or standing up for yourself.

Also don’t forget to give yourself credit for being mindful of your efforts. We don’t give ourselves enough credit for trying, depression and anxiety can be overwhelming. There may be times the only thing you can do is get out of bed, so congratulate yourself on that.

Now, imagine if there was a skill that would help pay better attention to what you were thinking, feeling, or doing at any moment. Imagine this skill could help you make healthier decisions and better choices that would improve your life. Well this skill defiantly exist and it is called Mindfulness: “the ability to be aware of your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions in the present’ (McKay, Wood, and Brantley 2007, 89.) This means instead of getting distracted by your thoughts, worries, regrets, and criticisms, you pay attention to what’s happening to you in the moment; so that you can make choices about what to do next. 

I know this may seem hard for some of us who suffer from mental illness to focus, but I really believe this could help. I have been practicing the mindful breathing exercises as well. Hope this helps one of you…..

Ms. Fran

 

 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

30 Days of Gratitude Day: 6

“Gratitude is wine for the soul. Go on. Get drunk.” -Rumi

Happy Monday and new time, man I love this new time change. As you know I’m in the bed before 6 anyway, so being dark early is right up my alley. lol Well today was a long but productive day, my Monday started off pretty good. I felt rested and got up with no problem at all. Today was the day I take dad to run his errands, and gives him a chance to ride in the car for a bit. Since he has a new girlfriend at his place, they seem to get out a little more together. She’s a nurse, so she is able to help him walk and be careful. Also today was the first day of my new coping skills class, and therapy day. I wasn’t really ready for therapy today, but glad I stayed the whole hour. Which brings me to why I’m thankful today, I’m more than thankful for my therapy sessions. I find so much relief in going, I had something bothering me yesterday and she just brought it out of me. I cried just a little, not sad tears, but tears of ‘yes that’s it’!! I feel like my thoughts are so clear when I’m with her, I mean I feel like she has been knowing me for years. I wonder if we are supposed to be kind of cool with each other? Today she told me something personal about her daughter and I felt like we were best buds. Just wondering if that’s ok? If it’s not, oh well! I couldn’t be more thankful for her. She sees the old fabulous, courageous, pretty, and diva I use to be. She sees me, not just my illness. I mean I feel like my old self, with a new brain when I’m there with her. So once again, who said therapy was bad for ya!? Hope this week is starting off great for you all, chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Yeah Just Like That…..

Yeah just like that…..just like that I did decide that life has beaten me down enough. Just like that….I decided I was tired of crying, going to bed sad, and walking around all day like a zombie. I’m tired of not enjoying life, and letting the world pass me by. Although I’m not cured, I have just taken the advice of my therapist and mentors to get my ass up. Get my ass up and complete all the things I put on my list, get my ass up and get to working on making the last part of this year fucking great. And NO nothing major in my life has changed, I’m still suffering from mental illness, I still don’t have much saved up in the bank, and I still need my meds everyday. I didn’t get cured, I just decided my illness can no longer run my life. I can’t continue to sit around hoping and praying that my life magically changes, I have to also put in the damn work. Remember, “faith without works is dead”(James 2:14)” so here we go. As I release this new e-book, I’m hoping that my story helps to also turn somebody’s life around. These steps I have implemented in my life, and I’m starting to see some major results. Although I know with the ending of this year, I will be starting the new year off seeing my only child go to jail, but I need to be strong. I need to be strong for him, my grandchild, and his little family. I never thought in a million damn years that I would be the mother of a prisoner, but this is the  hand we were dealt. So I’m going to stand strong behind him, we all make mistakes and hopefully this will be a BIG damn lesson learned. Whooooo, you see with all the things on my plate, I could be sad from now into next year. So go out download or buy the book, leave reviews and tell me what you think. Chat soon, enjoy……

Ms. Fran

http:/www.amazon.com/dp/B076HXG9JW 

Your a Guide To Self Improvement 

“7 Steps To a Better You”

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Who said ‘Therapy’ was a bad word?🤔

Well it wasn’t me!! Had the best therapy session today, I really like her a lot. She hangs on my every word and seems genuinely interested in getting back on the right track with my life. We brought up some of the things that were bothering me, so of course I told her about my son. Guess what?? I didn’t even cry…not one tear. She told me to look on the bright side, it’s only months and not years. Also she said, the judge saw the good parenting job I did. I didn’t think about that, I spent so much time blaming myself. The judge actually said “this young man came from a good home”. So that means he also recognized my parenting, and I didn’t mess up with him. This made me feel so good, all my friends have told me this, but I just couldn’t see it. I just felt so ashamed and bewildered. We also discussed some things I had on my mind about my dad, and she just let me rant!!! Whew! I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder today. She explained that no matter what anyone tells me, I’m a survivor and what was meant to harm me, actually turned out to be good. Wait let me get this straight….a survivor??? I never really saw myself as a survivor. She said “my gosh after everything you have been through”. Hmmm I’m a survivor!!! I think I like that, survivor! I think I’ll put that on my vision board so I can always look up at it. Again who said ‘therapy’ is a bad word?? Seeking help has been really good for me mentally and I’m glad I did it. Well I’m going to end the night with a smile, hope this Monday was good to you all. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

“I’m Ok” 2 words I thought I was done with…😔

Woke up again from a super crazy 2 hour sleep, went to walk the dog and to my surprise everyone was there. Usually I’m the only one on my late days, but this morning eyes looking puffy from crying, I had to say those 2 words. The 2 words we use when we are totally lying by about how we feel. “I’m ok” I know they saw the sadness in my eyes, and I was only minutes away from a complete meltdown. I wanted to be left alone today, not have to talk to anyone. I just don’t want to keep repeating this lie. No, today I’m not ok, but I don’t have any energy to explain why. Besides I think everyone has heard this story before, so this time I’m just going to stay to myself. I hate having these fucking episodes, it takes so much out of me, and keeps me from doing anything. My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my hair is a mess. I’m a freaking MESS! I haven’t seen my therapist in two weeks, she called today and I lied. I just wanted to scream at her, and ask “WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN LADY, I NEEDED YOU!!!😠Of course she was on vacation and that mad me even more upset, you leave and get sun, while I’m home going freaking nuts. Oh well off to my dads, kind of glad he can’t really see to good. I mean not like that, lol! I just don’t have the patience to explain anything, and I absolutely don’t won’t to ruin his day. Chat soon….

Ms. Fran

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Not Much Sex….while in a Depressive State!

Well lately you all have read me going on about my new ebook coming soon, Sex and Depression. This topic hits home for me, and I wanted to see if others out there in the universe can relate. We so often talk about how depression makes us feel mentally, but what about physically? What does it mean for him/her to be in the mood but you’re not.! Sex is very important in every relationship, but what do you do when the only energy you had was wasted on trying to get out of bed that morning. You don’t feel like showering, much less being kissed on. No foreplay, because that just adds extra time to what will seem like eternity…in reality it only last about 5 minutes, LOL! I’m laughing to keep my spirits up, but this makes me feel like a bad wife sometimes. I have always been very sexual, but lately the thought of it makes me good and tired. Don’t know if I’m alone here, but it needs to be discussed. As you already know, sexual desires originate in the human brain. The sexual organs would depend on the chemicals that are being produced within the human brain. In fact, these chemicals are responsible for producing libido, and introducing changes to the blood flow, which are need for sexual activities. When a person is affected with depression, these brain chemicals would be disrupted. I’m no sex doctor, but started doing research on this topic to get advice for myself. I learned a lot and plan on sharing this with you in the new ebook, coming soon!!

Ms. Fran (No Sex Doctor)

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

Good Monday To You All!

Happy Monday bloggers, feeling a lot better today than I have all weekend. This chronic pain had me in the bed all weekend long. Just couldn’t get anything done, because my body felt like a truck hit me. I did manage to catch up on some TV time, and I did a little writing for a new project I’m releasing soon. Hope it was a good weekend for you all, the weather here is beautiful not to hot. I’ve been in a pretty good mood today, thanking God I survived that pain this weekend. So what’s going on with you all? Me? Well I have tons of new items that have arrived in my online store, I have been invited to do a live chat on mental health in the black community, and I started a new diet. Whoo I’m exhausted just typing all the things I got going on this week. Out of everything, I think the diet is going to be the death of me, lol! I love food a lot, and I can’t live a part from it, LOL!! I just decided to do a little detox from all the bad foods I’ve put in my body over the last couple of weeks. Please Pray For Me!!! Therapy session last week was great, she is moving me to a coping skills class, and I have to attend AA meetings. I was a little bummed about that, because I will have to admit that alcohol has become a problem. Don’t think I was there yet, but I know I need to get the help if I plan on healing. Well with that being said, I’m off to run some errands since I’m off today. I won’t let Monday get me down, I’m planning on sparkling all over the day! Have a great Monday…chat soon! 

Mental Health, Self Care, Depression, Anxiety

I Ran Out Of Steam 😞

Well I knew the day would come, and I was dreading it. I’ve been on this emotional high, then I came crashing down like some street drug. I ran out steam, confidence, and hope! Yesterday was not a good day at all, my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t believe it, I was back to thinking things were not going to work. So I just laid my ass down after a wild morning, I just was physically and mentally exhausted. I haven’t felt this way in a while, and it scared me. Could I be falling back down that dark tunnel? Lord I hope not, but I know that I’m a long way from being cured. Oh well I see my therapist today and I plan on talking this out with her. Until then I’m going to get my butt up and start this day. Wishing you all a great Thursday…chat soon!!

Ms. Fran